The healing question. Healing in the US. Healing in Africa. Same God. It's not like He changes, ever. I am the one who made the earth and created people to live on it. With my hands I stretched out the heavens. All the stars are at my command (Isaiah 45:12). I have this vision of The Almighty commanding each star out one by one, by name. Giving each one a wink of approval as they march out into their position. Everything is under His command. I feel like He looks down on our little problems and thinks... that's nothing for Me, If I so choose it, it will be done.
I've been sitting on some information that I have been praying about how/if/when to share. While it may seem I blog about everything... I can assure you I do not.
A while back I saw my orthopedist for an exam on my knee and femur that has had a "defect" or "spot" in it for a couple of years (that I am aware of anyway). I've had a lot of pain and swelling but I've been doing so much boot camp that it made sense (even though I truly don't participate to the extent you all experience). Having been through the ringer orthopedcically, I am not blind to the fact that this is where the enemy tries to attack me (I realize for some reading this I probably just lost you.... but I can assure you spiritual warfare is very real and denying its existence only keeps the nuse around your neck). After reviewing MRI's and xrays, I was referred out to the Orthopedic oncologist because the problem has escalated. And during that meeting I learned what my future was about to hold. The blunt version is that I need a new femur end (technically called a femoral condyle). A human donor knee. The previous 5 surgeries have failed and the bone marrows is filling with fluid and the end of my femur is obliterated. He said it's to stop messing around. By the time I left the hospital I was placed on the National Donor Registry for someone else's distal femur. I wanted to puke. And cry. And scream. I prayed that God would just take my heart into His hands and slow the rate at which I was pushing blood through my veins. Took a deep breath and told him I'm heading to Africa in March (did I mention I am going to Uganda!!!!) and needed to be "fixed" in time to go. He asked why Africa, I told him about the orphans. He just nodded, looked at me, looked at my chart, and said, "well, let's hope you get a donor in the next 4 weeks.... we've got a lot of work to do!"
I've been praying, my friends have been praying. I am believing God will heal this Himself. In the past 3 months I've been to healing rooms at our Church, been prayed over, and have been praying and thanking God in advance for what He is going to do. Because Africa is calling and I need my leg. It's that simple. And I have had enough pain for one year. Enough.
At lunch my girlfriend and I were discussing what His healing looks like. Am I not trusting Him by allowing my name to be put on a national donor registry list? Is that distrust? She and I met at a missions directors board meeting at our church, we both serve on this board. She too has seen healing with her own eyes in Africa, so we have the same frame of reference. She had a great perspective I hadn't considered. If He chooses to not heal this supernaturally, He will use the story to be glorified. And maybe the story will touch lives that would have not otherwise been touched. And I immediately thought of the story of Lazarus. Often times God uses the story for His glorification, not necessarily answering our direct petition.
Some days later as I was researching this doctor and was amazed at what I found. He is a medical missionary. The news has done a number of pieces on him and his travels. And when asked why he does it he says, "because I felt called." I knew instantly God had led me to this surgeon. He chose to go to Haiti and reconstruct legs that were mangled after the earthquake (he specializes in limb preservation and bone tumors). And in Baghdad. I wondered why he didn't reveal this to me while I sat in his office, especially after I told him I was going to Uganda in March to serve in an orphanage. But he didn't. He just looked at me, looked down at my chart, and said let's get to work... today. So as much as I believe God CAN heal me, maybe He is choosing alternative means to do so.
Years ago when I checked the box on my drivers license to be an organ donor I never, ever, ever in a million years would have thought I would be on the other side of that list. I mean never. When I think about the fact that I am waiting for someone else to pass away that matches my "criteria" so that I can have their femur parts? It sends chills down my spine. It's a very uncomfortable seat to be sitting in.
The reason I chose to finally share this info is not to talk incessantly about this problem. I want to see God glorified in this entire process. I want to illustrate His authority, love, power, and my commitment to Him. I trust Him. And I know He will prevail. I also believe in the power of prayer. So, if I could be so bold as to ask you to pray. For healing and strength. For protection and for covering. Protection over the work I'm doing for water and Africa. I am extremely aware of the one who is seeking to get me sidetracked, and I won't let it happen. I don't care if it's from my laptop in some stinkin' hospital room!
I am on the donor recipient list while AlloSource is seeking to find a donor match, leaving me "on call." Once I get the call, the bone has to be quarantined for 10 days while I do pre-op labs. We check in for in for a little hospital stay, and presto! ... get a new femur! And then head to Uganda! Yes, it's going to be a Glory filled 6 months!
Here's just a sample piece of Dr. Hugates' heart for people... taken from 9 News.
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