Lip gloss and Handicap parking!

Things are beginning to turn the corner in the recovery department and I'm beginning to feel like myself again. Hallelujah! My sense of humor is resurfacing and I shaved my legs (kinda)! I love the women in my life, love love love. Every woman needs women to encourage them and just laugh with. My girls picked me up and we had dinner on the town last night! So much fun. I laughed as we joked that moving me around takes a village! You get her purse, I'll grab her phone, someone hold the door, can she get in the SUV? The perk of hanging with me for the next 4 months is all about the handicap parking pass..... I can't drive until late April.... So the lucky soul who drives me gets front row! It's crazy when I allow myself to momentarily count the number of days until my right foot will have contact with the floor beneath it.... April 10th is touchdown day. And I probably won't be walking without crutches until May. It's a tough pill to swallow but I have a brand new gift from a perfect stranger that I'm not about to disrespect. And Im healthy. Thank you Lord, thank you. I know my blessings have nothing to do with my ability or "goodness" but only be His great mercy and love. A gift, unearned for certain.

I've kinda of been scanning my emotions to see if I ever hit "that moment" when I collapse in my lack of independence and kick (or not kick) and scream in a tantrum of frustration. And it's just not going to happen this time around. I'm sooooo independent..... Heck I went to Africa with 7 strangers, and not even my church. And I was (notice the past tense) terrified to fly. But the irony there was what appeared from the outside to be a jump of major independence was actually the complete opposite. It was a complete act of trust and obedience in a force in my life I was just beginning to recognize. The force of a loving, merciful, patient, jealous, generous God who has a plan for my life. And all the wasted energy of trying to be "independent" from a God who truly seeks my dependency is just that, a waste of energy. I'm not saying there are moments when I long for the ability to jump in the car, jet to work, jump up and down in boot camp, run to lunch with girlfriends, go on an afternoon walk, or heck..... even get my own coffee. Trust me, I long for that. And I'm heavily disappointed I had to cancel my travel to Uganda in March because I won't be walking by then. But God has truly, truly, truly overturned my life this year and I just trust, ruthlessly, Him. I know He walks daily with me, even on one leg. Especially on one leg. There will be plenty of future opportunities to serve Him in Africa and other continents...... Of that He has made certain to me.

I live this excerpt from Ruthless Trust;
I double up within laughter whenever I realize I have started "managing" my life once more- something we all do with astounding regularity. The illusion of control is truly pathetic, but it is also hilarious. Deciding what I need most out of life, carefully calculating my next move, and generally allowing my autonomous self to run amuck inflates my sense of self importance and reduces the God of my incredible journey to the role of spectator on the sidelines. It is only the wisdom and perspective gleaned from an hour of silent prayer each morning that prevents me from running for CEO of the Universe.


As they say in Africa, hallelujah and Amen! CEO of the Universe, I love that. Humility is an hourly prayer isn't it? Certainly in my life.

Well.... I gotta run (bad joke.....). Kids are snowboarding all day and it's date day! Gotta go find my lip gloss and cute socks. Chat soon friends!