Noell Blevins

Judging the Rain?

2012-02-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

Perfectionism. Heavy sigh. My least lovely trait. I'm along way from where I used to be, but I'm not where I'll end up. That's for sure.

I think when failure enters the equation of an unsuspecting target, the perfectionist is left feeling completely responsible for the sum ... failure. I've spent a lot of time standing in my own rain. Torrential downpour really. If I'm totally honest... I used to look at people in the rain and think... glad it's not me. I know... not very "Christian", right? And the answer is no, it's not. But so many "Christians" feel like they are somehow on a pedestal of righteousness, and that really gets my blood boiling. The Bible says ALL fall short of the Glory of God. Not some... all. I cringe when I see someone with a cross around their neck standing in judgement of others rain. Or being righteous. Not loving. How much more powerful a testimony to who Jesus is would it be to genuinely pray for someone instead of talk about them. Jesus doesn't live on the charm around our necks but in the cracks of our souls, skin, and hearts.

There is the most beautiful parable I read in a book this summer. It's about a water bearer. He carried two clay pots of water across a large pole on his back, one to the right... one to the left. He walked 2 miles everyday for 2 years to water a garden. Down the exact same path. The pot on the right was perfect. Not a single blemish. It was well crafted and proud to be in one piece. On the left was a pot with holes and cracks, far from it's right sided counterpart. It viewed itself as inferior to it's perfectionist neighbor. Each day when the water bearer arrived at the garden, the perfect pot was proud of it's arrival. A full pot of water for the garden. While the cracked pot was broken and ashamed that it was unable to deliver it's full portion .... because it dripped water for two miles as the water bearer walked the path, everyday. So the cracked pot cried to the water bearer in apology and shame that it didn't perform as intended. The water bearer held the broken pot and said look; look at the path we have walked down for two years. On the left side of the path there are beautiful, vibrant, blooming flowers for miles. Illuminating every step. Because of your imperfection.... there is beauty on the path. Your cracks created beauty that would otherwise not exist. The path of the perfect pot was barren and dry. No beauty, no flowers. Just pride and perfection. Beauty from ashes.

Are you judging someone in the rain?

Ice Ice Baby!

2012-01-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

Ice and coffee. Interesting combination. Since my transplant three weeks ago, ice has become my new best friend. J brings me coffee every morning in bed... with a bag of ice for my leg. Chattering my way through my most loved drink..... not the iced coffee I dreamed of, but combined non the less. I think J secretly gets a kick out of hearing my teeth chatter at 6am. Seems my entire day revolves around ice... It follows me everywhere (thanks J).

I had a sobering phone call from my surgeon today. I was invited to go with a friend of mines non-profit to Uganda in May so I called to get the ok... or not ok. He said no. Flat out... no. Apparently he thinks I may need a cane to walk in May and June in the US.... let alone in Africa. And its too soon after transplant. That simple. If something were to go wrong..... I'd be in big trouble. Bummed.... but not deterred. Next time he calls I think I'll send him to voice mail..... Or out for a bag of ice.

I've never been a big fan of the "spaces in between." I like action. I like movement. I like having something to do. And clearly that is the antithesis of my current status. The Lord wants me on my tush... and He keeps telling me to be still and trust Him. And I do. Whole heartedly.

Excerpt from Jesus Calling

Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again. Some of the greatest works in My Kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells. Instead of resenting your limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to Me.

Quietness and trust enhance your awareness of My Presence with you. Do not despise these simple ways of serving Me. Although you feel cut off from the activity of the world, your quiet trust makes a powerful statement in spiritual realms. My Strength and Power show themselves most effective in weakness.

Unresolved

2012-01-28T22:27:00.000-07:00

We just got home from an dinner that benefited the ministry I was supposed to go to Uganda with in March, True Impact Ministries. It was such a special evening of hearing and seeing the absolutely incredible things God is doing through this ministry. And a private concert by Danny Oertli, what a great way to spend a Saturday night.

On the drive home I was a bit sad, disappointed that I was sidelined. I was watching the navigation screen in my car and direct us back to Parker. Go left, turn here, you are going south..... So clear. So direct. I wish God was that clear with me all the time. I wish I knew what lies 10 miles ahead of this journey.

And this morning I had coffee with a good friend who has a non-profit that works in Uganda. Among many other things; saving girls from sexual slavery and abuse; rescuing girls from the hands that abuse them. Counseling girls (notice the word girl.. not woman) who are pregnant due to rape (although it happens to grown woman too). And dealing with shame that is not even theirs to own. Intervening in places most people would not even fathom. Shame. The ultimate scheme of the enemy. Instead of worrying about what restaurant to eat at tonight... she's radically intervening onto the landscape of undeserved shame. The hands and feet of Jesus. Loving and praying through the power of the Holy Spirit to change the landscape; of even one starfish.

There are days, hours, weeks, moments that my heart just utterly aches for something different. When I just want to go into my closet, throw everything out but a pair of running shoes and my most comfy workout pants. When I wonder why I came back to parts of my prior life. Where I just cannot reconcile my new skin with my old environment. I'm just not a stuff person and I feel stuck in a stuff place. As I sit in my cozy bed with cozy blankets and fuzzy socks... my heart cringes with un-resolve when I think about the babies I know are sleeping on dirt roads halfway across the world. With no mom or dad. How do I reconcile this with my life? Tonight my heart breaks all over again. My internal transformation has external implications, but what exactly are they tonight?

String Beans and Warfare?

2012-01-25T14:35:00.000-07:00

I had physical therapy the other day. My PT is a dear, dear friend of mine. And a sister in Christ who acknowledges the Lord is our Healer and uses her as an instrument when necessary. I get on the table and she looks at my leg, looks at me and asks (she already knew the answer...she was just wanting me to come clean) "have you been doing your quad sets (leg exercises)" I said no, they hurt too much. She looked sternly at me and said, "well, if you ever want to walk again you better get to work." My right leg is withering down to the equivalent of a string bean. I'm not exercising my muscle. And it shows.

I acknowledge my tendency to make every situation and blog post look like a pretty present, wrapped in perfectly lined paper, with a beautiful bow sitting on top. As an eternal optimist, I do tend to see the bright side of most things. By nature. And I believe what you allow your mind to cater to will either feed your spiritual muscle or the fleshly desires and lies in this world we live in. So I choose to speak to and look at the spiritual muscle my Savior has Empowered me with in my writing for His Glory. We all have to choose what muscle we are going to "exercise." I do not want to create, however, this illusion that the life of this Believer is all pretty bows and one line scriptural punctuations of every daily event and mountain I face. Truth is, it's quite the opposite.

As Jesus has overturned my life and I commit more and more of myself to His will, opposition and resistance increases in every way. Spiritual warfare. Real as the oxygen molecules that float in the air we breathe in and out; we cannot see the molecule... but it sustains our life. Think about it.. Oxygen keeps us alive; without there is no life. It's invisible, and you trust it's there. Well, the spiritual world works the same way. I haven't met God, but I have experienced Him. And I do believe, with every fiber and cell in my body, every promise He makes in His Word. So it's not that I've got this superficial, pretty dance going with Jesus. I've got an intentional, speak only The Truth, don't glorify the fight...glorify victory in Christ, authentic trust, boldly approach The Throne relationship with Someone I have never met but trust implicitly. I will not give the enemy any glory by speaking about his attempts to get me off track, nope. Like Paul instructed the Church of Ephesus.. putting on the Armor of God. Standing firm in my Deliverer.

It's interesting to note that God chose the book of Isaiah, a book written like a dissertation on captivity, to introduce the Deliverer; Jesus Christ. Jesus began his ministry (after being tempted for 40 days in the desert) by reading from the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. Isaiah 61; the most powerful job description ever written.

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the LORD’s favor has come."

Jesus came to set captives free, to give sight to the blind, comfort the brokenhearted, make beauty from ashes, blessings in place of mourning. All for His glory. He stood in the synagogue in Galilee, read from the scroll (written centuries prior), sat back down, and waited. Until every eye was on Him. And not until then... he said; "Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing." Wow.... Can you just imagine what people were thinking at that moment? God wrapped in flesh. Right there in front of them!

I'm so glad that I have a Healer, a Redeemer, a Deliverer, a Savior. Every ounce of opposition that comes my way, I know I can handle with Jesus as My Rock. He never, ever allows opposition to come against you unless He is equipping you for the battle. Ever. Even when it appears to the contrary. He will always prevail, always.

That's Good News you can put a bow on! Now... I'm off to do quad sets. Happy M?

Lip gloss and Handicap parking!

2012-01-21T11:35:00.000-07:00

Things are beginning to turn the corner in the recovery department and I'm beginning to feel like myself again. Hallelujah! My sense of humor is resurfacing and I shaved my legs (kinda)! I love the women in my life, love love love. Every woman needs women to encourage them and just laugh with. My girls picked me up and we had dinner on the town last night! So much fun. I laughed as we joked that moving me around takes a village! You get her purse, I'll grab her phone, someone hold the door, can she get in the SUV? The perk of hanging with me for the next 4 months is all about the handicap parking pass..... I can't drive until late April.... So the lucky soul who drives me gets front row! It's crazy when I allow myself to momentarily count the number of days until my right foot will have contact with the floor beneath it.... April 10th is touchdown day. And I probably won't be walking without crutches until May. It's a tough pill to swallow but I have a brand new gift from a perfect stranger that I'm not about to disrespect. And Im healthy. Thank you Lord, thank you. I know my blessings have nothing to do with my ability or "goodness" but only be His great mercy and love. A gift, unearned for certain.

I've kinda of been scanning my emotions to see if I ever hit "that moment" when I collapse in my lack of independence and kick (or not kick) and scream in a tantrum of frustration. And it's just not going to happen this time around. I'm sooooo independent..... Heck I went to Africa with 7 strangers, and not even my church. And I was (notice the past tense) terrified to fly. But the irony there was what appeared from the outside to be a jump of major independence was actually the complete opposite. It was a complete act of trust and obedience in a force in my life I was just beginning to recognize. The force of a loving, merciful, patient, jealous, generous God who has a plan for my life. And all the wasted energy of trying to be "independent" from a God who truly seeks my dependency is just that, a waste of energy. I'm not saying there are moments when I long for the ability to jump in the car, jet to work, jump up and down in boot camp, run to lunch with girlfriends, go on an afternoon walk, or heck..... even get my own coffee. Trust me, I long for that. And I'm heavily disappointed I had to cancel my travel to Uganda in March because I won't be walking by then. But God has truly, truly, truly overturned my life this year and I just trust, ruthlessly, Him. I know He walks daily with me, even on one leg. Especially on one leg. There will be plenty of future opportunities to serve Him in Africa and other continents...... Of that He has made certain to me.

I live this excerpt from Ruthless Trust;
I double up within laughter whenever I realize I have started "managing" my life once more- something we all do with astounding regularity. The illusion of control is truly pathetic, but it is also hilarious. Deciding what I need most out of life, carefully calculating my next move, and generally allowing my autonomous self to run amuck inflates my sense of self importance and reduces the God of my incredible journey to the role of spectator on the sidelines. It is only the wisdom and perspective gleaned from an hour of silent prayer each morning that prevents me from running for CEO of the Universe.

As they say in Africa, hallelujah and Amen! CEO of the Universe, I love that. Humility is an hourly prayer isn't it? Certainly in my life.

Well.... I gotta run (bad joke.....). Kids are snowboarding all day and it's date day! Gotta go find my lip gloss and cute socks. Chat soon friends!

In the blink of an eye.

2012-01-16T21:14:00.001-07:00

In the blink of an eye.

I sat in the waiting room today for my 10 day post-op check up. Me and J... just sitting there. My leg propped up on the chair next to me and my body slinked back...resting on the love of my life, who never fails me. He has once again stepped up to the plate and has taken complete care of me. Even in the hospital, 3am, telling the nurses what I needed and watching every move they made as I slept in a drug induced slumber.... oblivious. And at home, removing every obstacle that inhibits my new sticks that have to do the job of my right leg for the next 3-4 months.

In the blink of an eye.

While sitting in the waiting room I began to weep. I was one of the lucky ones? As I looked around at the people who were missing limbs. Who DID have bone cancer. Who didn't hear the word benign out of our surgeons mouth. Who didn't have their rock there with them in the waiting room. Who were missing a foot. And one leg completely. And I escaped with a benign tumor and a knee femur part.

In the blink of an eye.

I'm used to waiting rooms filled with athletes, weekend warriors, over achievers, and people who bore their injuries like a trophy that reflected their life of competition. Yep... used to that waiting room. But this one... this time... this group.... I'm not used to this room. I think to myself; how did I end up here?

In the blink of an eye,

I begin to weep in my chair. I close my eyes and pray. For each of us. For each of them. For the Doctors. For the families. I am blessed. We are all blessed. I know my Father. Do they know The Father? Do they talk to Jesus too? Do they know how much God loves them? Do they know how jealous He is for them?

In the blink of an eye.

I meet with my surgeon, he smiles and says it was a beautiful surgery. Couldn't have gone better. The best possible outcome. He is well pleased. And I think ... Praise You Lord, Thank you Lord. In the blink of an eye.... my road could have been so different.

In the blink of an eye.

I get a flash of the reality that a young person has lost their life here on earth. And I now have part of their femur. In the blink of an eye... they were here, and now they are not. And I am; healthy and recovering. Fair? Lord, I trust You. Jesus you are in control. Jer 29:11 recites over and over in my head.

In the blink of an eye.

I am reminded that I have been put on this earth not to recite daily rituals... day in and day out. But to be set apart. That I didn't choose Him, He chose me. That orphans, water, and Africa, and the underserved have been ingrained in my soul by the Creator of the Universe, the Author of my days. And as I think about the family that grieves as I rejoice in the donors great generosity... A fire reignites in me to give. Give generously, abundantly, and sacrificially. To give because Christ is in me. To give because my heart has been captured by a Savior who has produced "overflowing joy" welling up in "rich generosity." (Radical). To give radically as my donor did, and as our Father did for us all. Lord, be glorified.

New Year. New Beginnings. New Wells. New Femur Parts.

2012-01-04T14:45:00.001-07:00

Welcome to 2012! Doesn't it feel good to be in a new year?! New year. New beginnings. New wells. New femur parts! Yes, I like 2012 so far! We had a great New Years Eve and even managed to stay awake to usher it in! I haven't seen the clock at 1am in ...ummm... a looong time! So much fun! Zach wanted to point out that my crutches were waaaay to short for him. Thanks Zach. Rub it in. I'm not using them yet... so I can still chase you. Don't sass your momma.

It's been a dizzying week of preparation for the first annual Charity Water Fundraiser at Lone Tree Athletic Club on January 7th! I am sooooo sooooo sooooo disappointed that I won't be there in person! It's like being pregnant and missing the delivery.... awkward. My sweet friends and clients have been delivering checks to me all week for Charity Water... and my heart is overflowing with gratitude. I just see the faces of the people who will be blessed by everyones generosity and I cry every time. And my amazing co-workers have really stepped up to the plate with this passion of funding water wells and I am in awe of their commitment. Just yesterday I was convincing a few of them to come with me next time we go to Africa. One of them said she couldn't because it would wreck her! I laughed, and said that's the point! That is exactly why you should go. I love being wrecked. Absolutely love being wrecked. I know first hand what it feels like to allow God to transform you into a new person. And I so desire for others to experience this transformation as well! God is good, always.

Romans 12:22 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

And my sweet little (uh, big... 6 feet big) Mary Beth is determined to bedazzle my crutches. The hot glue gun came out and I ran the other direction. That's considered a craft... I don't do crafts. Ever. Knock yourself out sister!

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I am. This is a lot different than I have ever experienced. And there's a lot on the line. I had my pre-op team meeting at the hospital this morning and my surgeon really put J and I at ease. He is so chilled. Of course, he deals with complicated situations everyday. I, do not. And it is my leg. And my life. So I just smile and pray. Smile and pray. Smile and pray. The alternative is not an option. I'm already hearing Docs voice in post-op saying everything went great Noell... you are healthy and going to be back in Africa in no time flat! I gave him a post it with those words written on it... yes, ordering Dr's around is fun! Wait until I hit him up for a Charity Water donation in pre-op! :) And while doing x-rays I got to share Jesus with the technician. That was great! She laughed... "you sure are chipper" she says. No, just blessed. And happy to tell anyone within ear shot why. God is faithful. God is real. And He is always good. No matter my circumstances.

See you soon friends! Thanks for your prayers.....

Donors and Wells?

2011-12-29T13:20:00.001-07:00

First Inaugural Charity Water Fundraiser Hosted by Lone Tree Athletic Club

Saturday, January 7th 8-5

Master Classes

Live Broadcast with Mile High Sports Radio FM 93.7 AM 1510

Cycle-a-thon

Door prizes

Timing is everything they say! I finally got the call; I have a donor. I have a match and it's go time. When the phone rang my heart lept and sank in the same beat. If I have a donor that means someone has lost a loved one... a young person. The donor had to clear all kinds of criteria... including age; young and healthy bone. We have been praying constantly for this person for months now. Praying for the salvation of a stranger; so that when their life is over, their soul will rest in heaven and their femur in me. It is in quarantine until next week, when it will be transplanted into my body on January 6th at the same hospital I was born in. I can hardly believe it. Of course I am very disappointed I won't be at the first inaugural fundraising event, but it's not about me. It's about the people who will receive this next well. I will be in the hospital for a little while after surgery, so the rest of the staff has graciously stepped up and are going to host the event in my absence. Thanks ladies! You are the best staff ever!

I don't know anything about the donor, but was told I could write a letter to the family and the procurement agency would give it to them. If the family chooses to seek out the recipients, I have elected to be open to meeting/talking with them. We are praying for a smooth surgery, a seamless transplant, and mostly a clean bill of health! And a speedy recovery! Because we've got a lot of work to do for Charity Water!

If you live in the southeast Denver metro area... you will see some information on this fundraising Open House in your mailbox very soon! If you are unable to make the event but would like to make a contribution; visit the web page for the event here. Thank you all for your prayers and support.

2011 In Closing

2011-12-26T16:37:00.000-07:00

2011. How do you say good bye to an entire year? The calendar is officially flipping over to a new page. With a new heading, 2012. A new year with nothing but a blank canvas.

I've done reflection posts every year, chronicling events that made "the year." Each year seems to have a theme; the year of triathlons, the year of new jobs, the year of the move. So when I began to think about this years post, I wondered how to describe it's "theme".

2011 is a year I will never forget. It's like a piece of sucker candy that has many, many layers of flavor that are revealed as you get further into the candy. The year began with what I perceived as tremendous blessings. So many things that I thanked God for every night in my prayers. Adoption. Friends. Kids thriving in youth group. Church. A dream job. Health. You name it.... blessed.

I wrestle all the time with the question of blessing. Why does God give and take away? How can something be a blessing one minute and seemingly a curse the next? How can adoption be so right yet suddenly seem so impossible? How can something that was so right suddenly be so wrong? I was tormented by this juxtaposition, completely.

In a single year I have had the highest of highs and the lowest of lows all wrapped up into one package. In the same year I have been the closest ever in my life to Christ and the furthest I have ever been in my life to Christ. I have been the happiest and the saddest I have ever been. I have counted my blessings and watched as they were taken away. I have pleaded with Jesus for answers to tough questions never to hear a response. I have been up against things I never, ever wanted to be up against. I have experienced joy in places I didn't know existed. I have cried in my sleep. I have felt Gods call to adoption and have felt the gaping hole sadness when I pulled the plug. I have been astonished at my ability to fail. I have experienced love from my friends and family like never before. I have looked in the eyes of people I have nothing in common with and somehow felt like the gap was not so large after all. I have felt hopeless, completely. I have found hope. I have learned how to pray for people who are hurting and how to be a better friend. I have learned that broken people are beautiful people, and that we are all one step from falling on our knees. I have learned that one of the most beautiful places on this earth is Africa and that my heart is wrapped in it's shape. That falling down is ok, as long as you get back up. I learned what it feels like to be the object of Gods grace and mercy. I learned what it means to guard your heart above all else. I have watched and prayed as my friends untimely buried their children. I have watched and prayed as my friend who buried her son last year reclaimed her soul from the depths of darkness, and cried along side her as she clawed her way out to victory. That I really am an inside out Oreo. That there are people dying on this earth because of their water, or lack there of. That I have the most generous, giving friends on the planet. That I have a passion for water and those who lack it. That it's ok to be happy one minute and sad the next, just because. That spiritual warfare is as real as the grey hairs on my head. I've turned a year older and watched my family do the same. I have walked with the poorest of the poor and felt richer than ever because Jesus was right there. I have had African dirt under my fingernails and cried as it faded away. I have understood that God doesn't make mistakes, even if it hurts. That following your heart is always right if it's in line with Gods will. That quitting your dream job to follow your heart really is courageous and God always honors obedience. That watching your baby get her drivers license is exciting and sad all in the same exhale. Realizing you are officially the shortest person in the family, bummer! That boys go to bed one night and wake up men the next... deep voice and all. That forgiveness runs deep. And that love covers a multitude.....

When I sum all of these layers together and peek into 2012; I realize my capacity to love, forgive, pray, seek, and find is greater because of all that 2011 brought to my plate. So for today, I consider it all a blessing. I pray that 2012 be less on the learning curve side of life and more on the giving curve. I want to give until it hurts and then give a little more. I want to love without fear or abandon. I want to see more of Africa and take my family with. I want health for myself and everyone else. I want to do so much more with so much less. I want to cry more tears of joy and less of tears of disappointment. I want to see more of this world and less of my four walls. I want my family to grow by leaps and bounds. I want to dive into the world of non-profits. I want to write. I want to bless others. I want to find peace in every thought and memory. But most of all, I want Jesus. I want to know him more, understand him more, see him at work more, hear him more, and just be with him. His will be done, not mine. So if his grand plan for my life includes any of the above requests for 2012, awesome! If not, as long as I'm walking in his steps, I will gratefully accept everyday...no matter what.

Happy New Year my dear friends. May you find the Lords favor upon you in 2012.

Marshmallows and Orphans

2011-12-21T20:21:00.000-07:00

What a lovely afternoon. The house is quiet......it's just me, the dogs, Mannheim Steamroller Christmas, a pounding of snow about to come out of their heavenly storehouses, and loads of ingredients waiting to be magically whipped up in the kitchen! My once a year cooking extravaganza. Every kind of sweet for my sweets. Don't you just love this time of year? When I think about the fact that my kids are growing faster than I can grasp, I just want to push the slow motion button on my life and hang on to right now. Heavy sigh..... I asked Zach the other day what his favorite things/memories are about Christmas. And without a blink of hesitation he said breakfast! Isn't that funny? I make an awesome french toast bundt cake... only on Christmas. And he loves it, apparently! Or, maybe it's that I never make breakfast except on Christmas! Hmmm.... I need to mull that one over.

Christmas Marshmallows!

I've had some fun conversations with some friends back in Ghana, Africa (gotta love FB for that!). It's fun to learn what they do to celebrate the birth of Jesus. And the ministries we worked with while there sent their yearend bulletins. So fun to read about what's happening on that side of the world. I really miss Africa. Really bad. I still feel like half of my heart is there. Someone called me a reverse Oreo today. I had to think about that one... Yes, I guess I am! One thing that God has sweetly revealed to me over the past few months is that when He brought adoption into our hearts a while back it wasn't without reason. We were so sure adoption was in our future. And then I chose to stop the process. I carried a lot of guilt over that because I felt I had let God and J down. But I knew I was incapable of continuing at the time. I just couldn't. I was trying to make it through the day. Then when I was in Africa it was so clear to me that my heart was connected to these orphans. That orphans were placed on my heart by God and it wasn't in vain. And we could care for them, just maybe not in the way we had first imagined. I love those orphans. I will do anything, or give up anything to love them.

I wanted to share this entry from Jesus Calling with you. I hope it blesses you as much as it does me. Merry Christmas friends.

As you wait attentively in My Presence, the light of the knowledge of My Glory shines upon you. This radiant knowledge transcends all understanding. It transforms every fiber of your being; renewing your mind, cleansing your heart, invigorating your body. Open yourself fully to My Presence; be awed by My glorious Being.

Try to imagine what I gave up when I came down to earth as a baby. I set aside My Glory, so that I could identify with mankind. I accepted the limitations of infancy under the most appalling conditions- a filthy stable. That was a dark night for Me, even though angels lit up the sky proclaiming "Glory" to awestruck shepherds.

When you sit quietly with Me, the process I went through is reversed in your experience. As you identify with Me, heaven's vistas open up before you- granting you glimpses of My Glory. I became poor so that you might become rich. Sing Hallelujahs to My Holy Name!

Chill(axing)....

2011-12-18T12:56:00.001-07:00

Well happy Sunday to you my sweet blog friends! As I as am writing to you I am basking in the sun at the base of a gorgeous mountain as my kids (young adults really) are tearing up the mountain. It is simply a spectacular day in the rockies (like my socks?). We came up to watch the Dew Tour, it's a Blevins tradition! We spent 3 days watching the pros board and ski the most wicked terrain and now T and Z are out there trying trying their best to emulate what they have seen....contrary to me pleading for them to "be smart" as they took off without kissing their momma. Yes, I am over protective. I'm forcing J to go tubing with me shortly, the kids shouldn't be having all the fun! He thinks I'm " too fragile" to go.... but I say lets throw some caution to the wind! When I had a check in at the hospital last week I was informed I was moved to first posiiton on the national donor list, so we better enjoy every second we have right now! Because it's all gonna change very soon!

I've had to come to terms with a few things lately, and while it doesn't thrill me... there is a reality to face and the most important thing I need to focus on is my my health. I'm not about to do Gods job for Him, and I will not presume to know how this is gonna pan out. Ruthless trust. I'm going to stay in the moment, every moment. And what lies 4, 6, 10 months from now I cannot conceive. But I can make snow angels at midnight right now if I choose, and yes we did! It was freezing cold, but oh so worth it!

For today I want to leave you with an excerpt from the Prayer of Jebez. If you haven't read it I highly recommend it! See you soon friends! We're off to the tubing hill.... Wish me luck!

"My God, bless me indeed. Give me the healthy soul. Heal me of my spiritual diseases. Jehovah Rophi come, and purge out the leprosy that is in my heart by nature: make me healthy in the heavenly sense, that I may not be put aside among the unclean, but allowed to stand amongst the congregation of thy saints. Bless my bodily health to me that I may use it rightly, spending the strength I have in thy service and to thy glory; otherwise, though blessed with health, I may not be blessed indeed."

My Mac N' Cheese Christmas

2011-12-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

When I came back from Africa, I knew my life had been flipped over, backward, sideways, and upside down. I just knew it. I knew it the first moment I inhaled Africa. The first child I saw that was parentless, orphaned so young. The first widow I watched cry out to God. The first village I saw with nothing but Jesus for survival. The first tear that rolled down my cheek left a permanent stain on the fabric of my soul, changing the very essence of my being. The whole way back from Africa, I just prayed and prayed. Jesus, thank you for bringing me home... Jesus don't let me forget what I've seen and heard. I don't want that other person back (not that she was bad... just different than now). Jesus, use me anyway you choose and I will obey. I made a promise to God right there in my seat on Delta Airlines somewhere over the Atlantic that I would not turn my back on the widows and orphans in Africa. I would not let this be a field trip, but a game changer.

"If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? Is anything worth more than your soul?" Matt 16:25-26,

do you see those little feet??

I was totally prepared to eat generic mac n cheese from Walmart if it meant I could focus on getting clean water for villages in Africa and caring for the orphans and widows. And yes, I quit my job after about 2 hours of returning. And yes, we ate a lot of mac n cheese, happy as can be! But you see friends, God loves our obedience and He delights in revealing Himself to us.....for the sole purpose of being glorified by us and through us. He delights in blessing us, it IS His nature. And He brought my old job/new job back to me with a renewed purpose. I am very blessed to have an employer that is totally on board with this mission. Embedding this mission into their vision as a company... spending marketing dollars to support my (our) cause. Blessed. Totally blessed. Thank you Jesus.

It is in this new skin that I am approaching this Christmas season. I've been pretty radically changed by Africa but my children have not had the same experience, so I need to find some balance. J and I have never really been of the "more is more" mindset, always been in the "less is more" category. But even more so now. How do I fit my Africa brain into American Christmas? I think about how many children would be fed by that XBOX 360, and I pause as a tear rolls down my cheek while standing in the store. And as we roll our cart begrudgingly to the checkout, I tell myself balance is necessary. I want my children to be thankful, grateful, and blessed... We are blessed to be living in the US. And eternally blessed by the birth of Jesus Christ.

So how can we find balance this Christmas season? As we go about our shopping and wrapping, consider one of the biggest gifts you could be giving someone this season... the gift of forgiveness; either giving or receiving. Is there a phone call you should make? A letter you should write? If none of these are possible... pray and forgive in the heavenly realms. This time of year has the tendency to bring out family dynamics that we'd prefer ignore, strained friendships, or whatever the case may be. Pray, ask God what you need to do. He will show you. To err is human, but to forgive is divine.

Christmas is a time of love, centered around the greatest love story ever told; John 3:16. And I have no doubt that the heavens rejoice over love triumphing and forgiveness occurring rather than shiny packages under our trees. 1 Peter 4:8 Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Forgiveness is not condoning offenses, but putting Jesus in front of it. And allowing love to penetrate places where hurt and anger hold you captive. Jesus is love. How we treat others is how we treat Jesus... Matt 25:40 "I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!" And it's his birthday after all! Why don't you give the gift he asks us to give. “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matt 6:14-15

" You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself " Matt 26:37-39

Merry Christmas friends!

Ice Cream for Breakfast, with David?

2011-12-05T19:04:00.000-07:00

My baby boy is 14! Time seems like a river flowing faster and faster, and I can't get it to stop. I remember the first time I saw his sweet little face. Waking up the first morning and I heard some chatter ... I looked over and James was holding him and telling him about everything he will ever need to know about football and girls. And I remember him talking about how hard his mommy worked to get him here (38 hours of labor ...then c-section!) and how much we loved him. There was a U of Michigan game on and James was rocking him in his arms as they talked football.... my my how things never change! My sweet 6lb12oz baby boy is about 6 inches taller than me now.... And has a heart of gold. I have been eternally blessed by children with huge hearts and sensitivity to others. He is always the first to encourage and defend someone. Still to this day, every time I pull into the garage in the evening, Zach always opens the door for me and comes out to greet me. Every time. I simply could not ask for better children.

And ice cream cake for breakfast! Yep.... that's how we roll!

Something very powerful is happening. I've been writing and blogging for years now. And in the past 6 months or so God had been doing a major, major, major work in me. Some may wonder why I write about my heart and am pretty transparent about my triumphs and struggles. And there have certainly been times when I questioned it myself. I mean, there are a lot of people reading this! All over the world.

The past 2 weeks I have had so many people reach out and tell me their story and how my openness and willingness to write about my journey has awakened something in them. Some love God. Some are angry at God and question His plan. Some have walked away and are wanting to come back. So many people. Even friends I've known for over 20 years. Or friends that share with others in their life that have fallen away. I/we do overcome by the blood of Jesus and the words of my/our testimony, Rev 12:11.

A long time friend reached out on Friday evening with the most beautiful message. Such an open heart. The fact of the matter is, I'm guessing for a lot of us who have had a not so perfect life, Jesus and the message of salvation just doesn't come naturally. If you grew up knowing Jesus, consider yourself blessed. But for some of us who have come to know him, or are seeking him, through a lot of pain, struggle, and question.... it doesn't seem natural, at first.

I had a God shaped hole in my heart that I thought used to be shaped all sorts of other things. But the "filler" never "fulfilled" the feeling. My walk has been brutal at best. I've failed. Been angry. Heartbroken. Been lied about. Been harshly persecuted for being obedient to what God told me to do, even when it was excruciating at best. You cannot hide your heart from Him. You cannot shift blame. There is no rug to shove your trash under when you live in Christ. I think if David were still alive we would have been good friends.

It is when we are truly honest with God that we find His mercy and grace. When David opened his eyes in the morning, he knew that he was alive for one reason and one reason only.... the sheer grace of God. That turning point changed the direction of David’s life, and deepened his relationship with God to a level he had never known before. Understanding God’s grace will have the same effect on you and me.

I want to encourage those reading this that are stuck in anger, shame, guilt, sadness, heartbreak, depression, unforgiveness; to seek the loving, merciful, grace filled power of Jesus into your life to restore that which is broken. So many people think they need to "fix themselves" before seeking Jesus. While just the opposite is true. He knows every thought you think anyway. He knows every detail in your life. He knows you are sad. He knows you question the untimely death of loved ones. He knows you were betrayed. He knows you have sinned against him. He knows you have a pride tendency. He knows you are angry. He knows you have trust issues. He wrote your days before you were even a cell in your mothers womb. But he wants to fix all of that for you. He wants to be your Healer, Redeemer, Restorer, and Saviour. Our Jesus experienced every single trial and tribulation we have.... He understands your pain. With true repentance and diligent seeking comes transformation. There are countless scripture references, but here are some of my favorite;

Isiah 43:25 I, yes I alone- will blot out your sins for my own sake and will never think of them again.

Joel 2:13 Don't tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead. Return to the Lord your God, for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He is eager to relent and not punish.

Phil 4:6-7 Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for what He has done. Then you will experience Gods peace which exceeds all understanding.

Rev 51: 12-13 Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach the rebels, and they will return to you.

Matt 11:28-30 Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. (The Message)

It's never too late to turn back .... He is waiting.

There is so much I feel God wants me to share with you. Next up... Funny Mirrors... What We See Versus What God Sees! Stay tuned! Posts are coming fast and furious right now!

Embarrassing? Really? And Well #2 Kick Off!

2011-12-01T22:23:00.001-07:00

Tay and I were shopping the other day at, you guessed it...Walmart (maybe Walmart should start paying me for this!!).... We were trolling along the isles and I was singing some tunes. I do sing.. a lot. It's part of the group exercise guru inside of me. I always tell my classes I really wanted to be a singer but no one "found me"... so I settled for group ex because I can still use a microphone. Anywhooooo..... We were walking down some isle and Taylor told me to quit singing, I said no thank you. She said I was embarrassing her... Really? How 'bout this... And in my loudest singing voice I belted out the chorus of Silent Night. How's that for embarrassing? Ask the guy I almost gave a heart attack while he was quietly shopping for milk. Taylor ran away and I just kept on singing... just a bit softer. Gotta love teenagers! Sorry Tay.

I love music. I'm definitely one of those people you pull up next to at a stop light and just stare at in awe... as I belt out my tunes. Or pounding the steering wheel. Depending on the song of course. Music just speaks right to me. All kinds of music. Lately my playlist has included artists like Sara Groves, Ginny Owens, Selah, Mercy Me, Jason Grey, Bob Seger, Metalica (don't judge), Joy Williams, and that Moves Like Jagar song. Oh, that one gets my car going.... you'd hear that one from your car at the light for sure. It's a good thing I have blue tooth in my car because if the doc called while I was driving to say "your femur is in" I'd miss the call for sure.

We've started the process of funding well #2 and I am so excited to have an employer that is letting me embed my passion for fitness and heart for Africa and the orphans. I am so blessed. Our second fundraising event will kick off January 7th during Lone Tree Athletic Clubs Grand Re-Opening! And tomorrow the news is coming to cover my Fitness Challenge class so I better say goodnight... Because nobody needs to see me with sleepy eyes!

Have a blessed night friends! Enjoy Charity Water video promo #2!

Radical Obedience.. Crazy Faith.. Constant Thanksgiving

2011-11-28T14:04:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful Thanksgiving! I trust you all ate plenty and enjoyed time with family and friends. We certainly did... Although there was a healthy dose of boot camp in there! 30+ faithful boot campers came out for a pre-feast butt kicker! It was so fun (for me... from the sidelines)! And my contribution to the feast?? Brussel sprouts! Seriously? Who gets that job? That'd be me! We did figure out the trick for not over-eating though... volunteerism! Our Church opened it's doors to the community and served an all out feast! We got the privilege of serving our community and made some new friends in the process! Then.... off to mom's for family and food!

I love the women in my family.

We went to the most magnificent Sunday evening worship services last week. You know one of those times when the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention like a soldier in formation. Yes... that's what I'm talking about. One of the things we wanted to incorporate into our family worship was diversity. Not a whole lot of that in our little city! So, we set out to find it. And find it we did! The Holy Spirit was unleashed... I absolutely love to be surrounded by people consumed in worship. There is nothing like it. Just being in the presence of the Holy Spirit and worshiping... simply put; perfect. So reminiscent of Africa....

Lately I feel like I am standing back and watching so many things be set in place by God. I am absolutely enthralled with the book of Isaiah, and as I let the words soak into my soul, I am seeing His fingerprints daily. If I started to list all of the events you'd be sleeping by the middle of the list. From people who haven't seen each other for years and suddenly find themselves in the Bible study group D and I started (not random). To my sweet girlfriend who was a Muslim and accepted Christ in her kitchen over a smoothie and prayer. And watching her discover this Amazing God of ours and discipling her, amazing. God is so good. And is worthy of our most sincere praise.

Isn't it so wonderful to know that the God Who has measured off the heavens with His own fingers, held the oceans in His hands, knows the weight of the earth, has named each star and commands them into place everyday, that sits above the circle of the earth, and spreads out the heavens like a curtain and makes his tent from them is the exact same God who hears your prayers and delights in blessing you?! That he holds every tear you have ever shed in His hands and knows exactly why they were formed. I love that I can count on Him, and if I need more of Him at any time all I need to do is praise Him... because He inhabits the praises of His people. Radical obedience, crazy faith, and constant thankgiving.

We are praying without ceasing about the upcoming months. Particularly for the "donor" that is out there, who will soon donate their femur to me. Everyday we wait for the call to come in ... every time my phone rings we all jump. I can't explain just how conflicting it is to be waiting for someone to pass away so you can have life and/or limbs. It's so strange to pray for the salvation of someone you have never met. But we do everyday. And we will continue to do so... There is much peace in knowing that the God who tells the oceans where to stop is in charge of this too.

Happy Monday friends!

Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T05:00:00.006-07:00

This time of year is one of my favorites! I made a batch of scones and sent them off to all my friends, can't keep those suckers around here! Zach ate 4 for breakfast the other day. It's about the only time I use the oven all year! And this year... Thanksgiving cards. I am blessed to be writing to my dear ones why I am grateful for them. There is a lot to be grateful for. A whole lot. Have you told your dear ones why they are so important to you?

Now if I could just learn to cook without covering myself in flour! The kitchen will never be the same!

I usually do a post on what I am thankful for, but this year my heart is speaking something a bit different.... After all, if I list the things I am thankful for it would probably look like all of yours; family, friends, health.... you know, the stuff we are naturally thankful for.

What I have come to understand this year is a Biblical thanksgiving. A gratefulness of a heart filled with Holy Spirit joy. A whole understanding of Gods love for us. It's really easy to be grateful for all of the great, wonderful, beautiful things in your life, in my life. That takes no bravery or trust. But what about those times when you feel like nothing is right and is actually very wrong. We've all been there. It's a prayer of Thanksgiving during those times that turns average faith into ruthless trust. Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.

I remember my most dear friend, D, telling me during a time of extreme grief to thank God right now for everything that is happening. Do it now, she said. I looked at her like she was flat out nuts. In fact, I may have told her she was crazy... I wasn't about to thank God for my misery. I thought I had no place in His Kingdom anyway... But I did it. Once, twice, three times.... and now I do it all the time. It's like a spiritual vitamin B12 shot (my first b12 shot kept me awake for 3 days!!!). It's amazing. And here is why it works; the Holy Spirit lives in the heart thanksgiving. Enter His gates with Thanksgiving and His courts with praise. When we fail to praise Him in all circumstances, we are denying Him His sovereign power. Robbing us from peace that comes only from the Holy Spirit. We must speak of our thankfulness, whatever is in our hearts is what we say.

We all know the scriptures regarding thankfulness. Psalm 100:1-5, Phil 4:6-7, 1 Thes 5:16-18, Psalm 28:7, Psalm 69:30, Psalm 95:1-6, Col 2:6-7, 1 Chron 16:34, Jonah 2:9. This list can go on and on, and He is worthy of our attention to each one.

There is one more scripture you may not normally put on your list, and this is my Thanksgiving scripture this year. The year I am learning to thank The Almighty no matter my circumstances.

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me as surefooted as a deer, able to tread upon the heights.

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours!

And my African Family!

I Never Knew You!!!!

2011-11-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

There are times when I blog and it takes hours to get the thoughts down. And there are times, like today, where my fingers can't move fast enough.

There is one place I just don't like to be, that's outside of Gods will. But being that my name is not Jesus, my feet still pitter patter off in their own direction. Even when I have the best of intentions. That's called being human. It can be as simple as not responding in a conversation the way Jesus would have. Or passing over a window of opportunity. Or not listening to that little voice that is telling me to do something...yet I don't. Being outside of Gods will is not just left for the Prodigal son or daughter, it's in our everyday....moment by moment decisions. The times when we wonder if He really is there, does He really hear our cry?

Imagine in heaven God shows you His plan for your earthly life. You see footprints walking through each day. On most days there are two sets of prints, walking side by side. You ask, "Father, are those my footprints every day, and is the second set of prints when You joined me?" He answers, "No, my child. The consistent footprints are Mine. The second set of footprints are when you joined Me."
"Where were You going, Father?"
"To the destiny I planned for you, hoping you'd follow."
"But, Father, where are my footprints all those times?"
"Sometimes you went back to look at old resentments and habits. Sometimes, you departed from My path and chose your own instead. Other times your footprints can even be seen on another persons path because you liked their plan better. At other times, you simply stopped because you would not let go of something you could not take with you."
"But even if I didn't walk with You every day, we ended up OK, didn't we?"
He holds you close and smiles, "Yes child, we ended up OK. But, you see, OK was never what I had in mind for you."
"Father, what are those golden treasure boxes on certain days?"
"Blessings, My child, I had for you along the way. Those that are open are those you received. Those still closed were the days you did not walk with Me."
(Beth Moore, Breaking Free).

Tears rolled down my face the first time I read this. I could just imagine my Dad having this conversation with me. And how sad I was to think I had walked right through His blessings, without a second thought.

The most incredible sermon I have ever witnessed was in Africa. Chris Apedue, Pastor from Ghana. He has an incredible ministry that revolves around the Jesus of the first century, not the Jesus that is evolving in the 21st century. Now, I realize some of you just lifted an eyebrow... what ministry isn't about the person of Jesus? Well I think that is a great question. Jesus was a radical. He made pretty outlandish requests. Would I let the dead bury the dead? Would I go homeless. Would I love him so much that when compared to other love it made them look like hate? Selling my possessions and giving it to the poor? Are we settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves (Radical, David Platt)?

The will of the Father. Are we willing? Matthew 7:21-23 "Not everyone who calls out to me, "Lord Lord," will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. On judgement day many will say to me, "Lord, Lord. We prophesied in Your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name." But I will reply, "I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break Gods law."

That is a sobering scripture. Notice he was not talking to non-believers, he was talking to Christians. Jesus calls us to leave certainty for uncertainty, safety for danger, self-preservation for self-denunciation, instead of self promoting... Jesus calls us to crucify ourselves, dying to ourselves and picking up His way. Does His will for my life really include Nordstroms? Is He asking me to get a little "uncomfortable?" I think so. The middle class American version of Jesus versus the 1st century Jesus. I guess that's what I realize is happening to me. I saw the 1st century Jesus in Africa, and am learning what it means to bring that Jesus back home, to my air conditioned... cell phones... microwave... I-pad... Park Meadows... Starbucks life. All while remaining in His will. And walking with His footprints. So that when I do meet my Maker, I hear well done my good and faithful servant, not I never knew you.

Trust me, I have more questions than answers. And I am on a journey just like the rest of you. And I'm not saying that having "stuff" is wrong. I'm simply asking myself the question, Is this His will for my life? Am I following His commands without redifiing them with my 2011 glasses on?

Checked Boxes and Waiting Lists

2011-11-17T15:08:00.001-07:00

The healing question. Healing in the US. Healing in Africa. Same God. It's not like He changes, ever. I am the one who made the earth and created people to live on it. With my hands I stretched out the heavens. All the stars are at my command (Isaiah 45:12). I have this vision of The Almighty commanding each star out one by one, by name. Giving each one a wink of approval as they march out into their position. Everything is under His command. I feel like He looks down on our little problems and thinks... that's nothing for Me, If I so choose it, it will be done.

I've been sitting on some information that I have been praying about how/if/when to share. While it may seem I blog about everything... I can assure you I do not.

A while back I saw my orthopedist for an exam on my knee and femur that has had a "defect" or "spot" in it for a couple of years (that I am aware of anyway). I've had a lot of pain and swelling but I've been doing so much boot camp that it made sense (even though I truly don't participate to the extent you all experience). Having been through the ringer orthopedcically, I am not blind to the fact that this is where the enemy tries to attack me (I realize for some reading this I probably just lost you.... but I can assure you spiritual warfare is very real and denying its existence only keeps the nuse around your neck). After reviewing MRI's and xrays, I was referred out to the Orthopedic oncologist because the problem has escalated. And during that meeting I learned what my future was about to hold. The blunt version is that I need a new femur end (technically called a femoral condyle). A human donor knee. The previous 5 surgeries have failed and the bone marrows is filling with fluid and the end of my femur is obliterated. He said it's to stop messing around. By the time I left the hospital I was placed on the National Donor Registry for someone else's distal femur. I wanted to puke. And cry. And scream. I prayed that God would just take my heart into His hands and slow the rate at which I was pushing blood through my veins. Took a deep breath and told him I'm heading to Africa in March (did I mention I am going to Uganda!!!!) and needed to be "fixed" in time to go. He asked why Africa, I told him about the orphans. He just nodded, looked at me, looked at my chart, and said, "well, let's hope you get a donor in the next 4 weeks.... we've got a lot of work to do!"

I've been praying, my friends have been praying. I am believing God will heal this Himself. In the past 3 months I've been to healing rooms at our Church, been prayed over, and have been praying and thanking God in advance for what He is going to do. Because Africa is calling and I need my leg. It's that simple. And I have had enough pain for one year. Enough.

At lunch my girlfriend and I were discussing what His healing looks like. Am I not trusting Him by allowing my name to be put on a national donor registry list? Is that distrust? She and I met at a missions directors board meeting at our church, we both serve on this board. She too has seen healing with her own eyes in Africa, so we have the same frame of reference. She had a great perspective I hadn't considered. If He chooses to not heal this supernaturally, He will use the story to be glorified. And maybe the story will touch lives that would have not otherwise been touched. And I immediately thought of the story of Lazarus. Often times God uses the story for His glorification, not necessarily answering our direct petition.

Some days later as I was researching this doctor and was amazed at what I found. He is a medical missionary. The news has done a number of pieces on him and his travels. And when asked why he does it he says, "because I felt called." I knew instantly God had led me to this surgeon. He chose to go to Haiti and reconstruct legs that were mangled after the earthquake (he specializes in limb preservation and bone tumors). And in Baghdad. I wondered why he didn't reveal this to me while I sat in his office, especially after I told him I was going to Uganda in March to serve in an orphanage. But he didn't. He just looked at me, looked down at my chart, and said let's get to work... today. So as much as I believe God CAN heal me, maybe He is choosing alternative means to do so.

Years ago when I checked the box on my drivers license to be an organ donor I never, ever, ever in a million years would have thought I would be on the other side of that list. I mean never. When I think about the fact that I am waiting for someone else to pass away that matches my "criteria" so that I can have their femur parts? It sends chills down my spine. It's a very uncomfortable seat to be sitting in.

The reason I chose to finally share this info is not to talk incessantly about this problem. I want to see God glorified in this entire process. I want to illustrate His authority, love, power, and my commitment to Him. I trust Him. And I know He will prevail. I also believe in the power of prayer. So, if I could be so bold as to ask you to pray. For healing and strength. For protection and for covering. Protection over the work I'm doing for water and Africa. I am extremely aware of the one who is seeking to get me sidetracked, and I won't let it happen. I don't care if it's from my laptop in some stinkin' hospital room!

I am on the donor recipient list while AlloSource is seeking to find a donor match, leaving me "on call." Once I get the call, the bone has to be quarantined for 10 days while I do pre-op labs. We check in for in for a little hospital stay, and presto! ... get a new femur! And then head to Uganda! Yes, it's going to be a Glory filled 6 months!

Here's just a sample piece of Dr. Hugates' heart for people... taken from 9 News.

Hodge Podge and Cheezits!

2011-11-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

This is my hodge podge post.... lots of things happening and many changes in the air!

It has been so great to just soak up the funding of this first well. I'm still reeling from the speed at which it funded. I'm so thrilled. I can't wait to get out to NYC in January and be on site with Charity Water! Looking forward to that meeting for sure!

I'm learning the trick to keeping an eye on teenagers lies in the pantry. I make sure we have the staple items at all times; Cup O Noodles, my homemade spaghetti sauce, cheezits, popcorn, and velveeta (quite disgusting if I do say so myself!). I love coming home from wherever my day has had me and seeing all of them in my kitchen. We talk about everything. And lately there has been a lot to talk about. With a friend of mine dealing with an unthinkable loss of her son that was Tay's age, I want to hold on more tightly to these moments.

Last week I was driving them all to youth group and Tay was laughing hysterically about something and said in her most joyous voice, "I swear, I'm the happiest teenager on the planet!" What a blessing. I don't take her spirit of joy for granted... not one bit. Made my day.... I love her so. And that night two of her friends accepted Christ into their lives! So awesome!

We had the pleasure of having dinner this weekend with some new friends. The gentleman is a Palestinian refugee and has lived in the US since 1987. I so enjoyed learning about his life and about the middle eastern region, from his view. To soak up the stories and understand some history of that region, fascinating. What was also interesting was the dynamic because his wife (who is my friend) just accepted Jesus as her Saviour... in her kitchen a few weeks ago. So here we sat, over the best Mediterranean food ever, discussing our world views and religion. It was a great night! I learned a lot. And made a great new friend.

There is a lot happening this week and my prayer is to stay connected and quiet. I can tend to be a bit of a whirlwind and that's not always a good thing. It's interesting, I have felt lately like God was telling me to be still and know Him in every moment. Big week this week, and leaning heavily on the strength of Christ. I can't wait to see God at work.

Obedience is not an act of arriving at a perpetual state of godliness but perpetually following hard after God.

Promises Fulfilled.

2011-11-06T21:08:00.000-07:00

Walmart seems to be the spot where things happen lately. First Tays travel mug last week, then today after Church.... I was buying cranberries to make homemade scones for my family when my phone said I had an email (yes, it spoke). It was a donation alert for Charity Water.... The first well has been totally funded! Goal attained! Thank you God! I literally yelled.. actually probably screamed right there in the parking lot. Jumping up and down thanking God right there.... I couldn't contain myself, God is so good. He is so faithful and truly does make all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose in Him (Rom 8:28). All glory and honor to God for this well!

One of my most treasured promises of our mighty and faithful God is His promise to bind the hearts of the brokenhearted. He loves us so much and so desires our full attention. And ultimately to be glorified in our lives. To bring beauty from ashes.

Isaiah 61:1-3 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

Whether it's you and me or beautiful people half way across the world that you have never met; trusting Gods sovereignty means trusting that if He has allowed hardships to occur, He plans to use it mightily if we let Him. I believe this to my core. There is abundant freedom in brokenness. I'll take broken over haughty any day.

When I look in the eyes of my African friends I can see their brokenness. They know they need God. I never once saw pride, not once. I felt so completely at home there. Same thing happened earlier this year when James and I visited Mexico and went to a Catholic mass. I didn't understand a word that was being said but I could read the brokenness in their faces and I felt like I had just found my home. It fit. This is what I wrote when I came home;

We sat in worship among friends who didn’t know us, don’t speak our language, and don’t have access to the “things” we do back home. They hugged us, shook our hands, and sat next to us. It was so profound for me. One of my favorite memories of all time. I felt completely at home among perfect strangers. The funny thing is I felt/feel the need for God to be with me just as much as they do; my need is stemming from a different place… that’s all. So different…. yet the same.

This well is far more than just a well. It's an answer to a promise. To me. To the village that will receive this well. To my friends who committed their resources to funding it. It is a strong and bold answer to prayer. God hears our requests and delights in fulfilling our needs. My needs. Your needs. Their needs.

It's perfectly God when I think about this entire process. I never in a million years thought I would ever even go to Africa, and now I'm in love with it! It was almost like my road to Damascus. The scales have been removed from my eyes forever. And now an entire village is getting clean water... I will go wherever He leads for the rest of my life! I trust His way. All glory to God! Well number 2 here we go!

Birkat Kohanim

May the LORD bless you and keep you.

May the LORD make His Face to shine on you and be gracious to you.

May the LORD turn His Face towards you and give you Peace.

Psalm 53:17

The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, Oh God.

Psalm 34:17

God is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

Hebrew 12:12

So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.

98.7%

2011-11-05T08:16:00.001-06:00

Quick update.....Things are really picking up in the fundraising department. We had a little snow storm this week in Denver.. the same day I had some appoitments for fundraising. It's a good thing I have an SUV with serious snow tires... because I was not about to cancel! That day put my little fundraising project at 98.7% of goal! Only $104 left for the FIRST well... and I am sure it will happen by Monday. And it's only been 52 days of fundraising!!!! I couldn't feel more blessed by the response of people around me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Many will be blessed by your generosity. I am truly grateful. With the big Grand Re-Opening/Fundraising event at Lone Tree Athletic Club on December 3rd I'm projecting funding an entire well that day alone! God willing...... literally! More details on that this coming week! If you want to contribute to this water well project, please follow this link. Every single dollar you donate goes to fund wells.... it is a 100% not for profit. All costs to run the organization are covered by private donors, not YOUR donation. This was very important to me.

These are the beautiful people you are giving clean water to. This is my favorite video from Africa. This was one happy village! Yes.... they had a water well. Turn you speakers up and enjoy their JOY!

Putting God in a Box?

2011-10-31T20:45:00.001-06:00

At night I often sit quietly in bed with my ear buds in.... looking at all of the pictures of Africa. When I close my eyes it still feels like I am there. In Ghana, my roomie and I were a perfect fit. We were always the first in bed, she would fall asleep and I stayed awake for hours....writing. With my headlamp fastened to my head... and pen in hand... I was lost until the early hours of the morning. It was a transforming time in my life for sure. Of how I miss Africa.

I was having lunch with D last week and she brought something to my attention. Something I really hadn't considered. We were talking about how the water fundraising is surpassing all of my expectations. With less than $800 left to fund one well... in record time... It is obvious God is in every detail of this project. And about Africa. And how I know I will be back there very soon... but how, when, where, to do what? She suggested I was confining God to do all the little stuff, without considering that He can do something BIGGER! Why one well? Why not many, many wells? After all, look at how He has blessed it to this point! Am I confining His ability to do something HUGE?

I had the pleasure of meeting and talking to Sam Childers, known as the Machine Gun Preacher. He has an amazing story. Read it here. It is a truly remarkable. He too was changed forever after serving in Africa for the first time in 1998. He now works tirelessly to save Sudanese children from being tortured and kidnapped and forced to join the LRA (Lords Resistance Army) in Sudan. God gave him a vision and he didn't let his human brain confine the information. He has built an orphanage. Is saving children and women. And working to get access to clean drinking water.

I told him my funny story... A couple of years ago James heard Sam speak at a mens group he was attending. James was very moved by his story. So James bought his book; Another Mans War; The Story of One Mans Battle to Save Children in the Sudan. And decided to give it to me for Mothers Day. At the time I thought; what the heck were you thinking? A book about children being killed in Africa for Mothers Day?!? Seriously? Sam laughed... and agreed, bad timing. But after being in Africa, now I get it! I told him about my experience and the wells. Then he said exactly what D had said a few days prior... don't put God in a bottle... He can do BIG things through your heart if you let Him. Then he asked me if I wanted to to go Ethiopia with his crew in December... After all... I'm immunized and ready to go!

Some may think we go to Africa to evangelize to them.. while the reality is they can teach us a thing or two about faith. They believe... they know... God can do everything. The God that Nehemiah prayed to and believed in to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem (in 52 days to be exact!). And that Abram believed in when he left Ur to go to an unknown land. And that Rahab trusted. And that prompted Hezekiah not to give in to the demands of King Sennacherib. Confidence comes when we believe that God will keep His promises and complete the work He has started in our lives. And there are no better examples of this trust than the African people. They don't have the "option" to trust anything but Him. They don't pray for healing and in the next breath call the doctor for an appointment. Not an option. God is the only option. They don't hesitate to ask Him for the big things... Why should we?

Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

2011-10-29T16:26:00.001-06:00

I'm not exactly sure when this happened. It was just yesterday I was making chocolate chip banana bread with my baby girl and shuttling her off to school. I remember it crystal clear. She's always had this super sweet smile that just lights up a room.

She got her drivers license last week and I feel like I haven't seen her since! Last night I went to bed without seeing her at all! Of course that doesn't say much because I can't stay up past 10pm to save my life. J is super protective and will not go to bed without his baby girl tucked in her bed. So sweet. He's a great daddy. Tay and I were shopping today and I almost lost it right there in Walmart (yes, I shop at Walmart!)... She wanted to buy hot coco for the coffee maker and wanted her own travel mug for the mornings on her drive to school. I literally teared up. It's such a silly thing... but it's my baby. And now she has her own travel mug. Insert sad face... :-(

I'm working on fundraiser part two for Charity Water! Bigger venue, live broadcast, marketing, and collaboration with my new/old employer! When I was hired back at my old job, under new ownership, I told them if they want me they are getting my Africa orphans and Charity Water. We are a package deal. And they happily agreed. Soooo.... December 3rd we are having a HUGE fundraiser Grand Re-Opening! All benefiting the Charity Water project. We're still working out all of the many details... but I'm sure a video is coming soon! I have a picture of my Africa babies on my desk and it seems all I do is talk about orphans and water. And this week alone, my staff generously donated almost $500! God is sooo good!

And I had a first. Yes, at my age you can have firsts. Heart pounding, tear jerking, hair standing on the back of my neck... first. A woman whom I have known for a few years and has been a supporter of everything "Africa".... revealed to me a few weeks ago that she is a Muslim. She's been front and center at boot camp for years and has heard me and the other ladies talk openly about what God is doing in our lives. And how much we love Jesus. She and I talk a lot. And when I talk... it's about Africa, water, and God. She reached out to me this week, seeking relief. Like all of us do. We all have pain. We all have sadness. We all have a past. We all have good moments. We all have bad moments.

We met for smoothies and to make a private story short; through Gods guidance and Word, I was able to explain how much God loves her and wants her to have a relationship with Him. That He created that empty space in our hearts, that craving you can't put your finger on, the longing for something you don't see... He designed that in us so that we may seek Him. He is what can fill that place, nothing or no one else. It's a God shaped hole. The good news is that there is a cure for that craving. He is the answer. He wants to heal our battle wounds and be our everything.

With permission, I got my Bible out of my car and brought it into her home and shared scripture with her. God gave me words exactly for her. It was a beautiful time of testimony and love. I asked her if I could pray for her and she agreed. With her trembling hands in mine, God filled my mouth with His words and for the first time ever she is seeking God and asking Him into her life. Repenting of old ways and asking for forgiveness. Seeking Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. I am so over filled with joy for her that I can't wipe the grin off my face. She even purchased her first Bible! God is so good. So good ya'll. I feel His joy running through my veins and I never want it any other way. I give Him all of the Glory and Honor.

Maybe I'll make her some chocolate chip banana bread :-) And Tay can deliver it! With her mug in tow.....

Corn(y)

2011-10-25T16:18:00.000-06:00

Ahhh fall! My favorite time of year. I was in a store this evening and the smell of Thanksgiving and Christmas was oozing everywhere. Then I spotted the Holiday special selection coffee for the Keurig and I swear I heard angels singing! Ahhhhhhhh!!! I'm fairly certain I made an audible "ya baby" right there in Bed Bath and Beyond. If you happened to witness that "moment".. What can I say?! I love coffee! So, here I am, sitting with my pumpkin spice coffee... feet up after a very productive and splendid day.

I have been considering this blog post for a while now and just couldn't figure out how to write it without sounding completely corny. But, at the risk of corn (not a big fan anyway, sorry corn) .. here goes.

My father, who I never knew, died at my age 30 years ago this month. 39. Thirty nine years old. 39 short years. I met him once, right before he died. I barley remember the encounter. His life was cut short and I will never get the opportunity to know who he was. What food did he like? Did I get his nose? My brother and I have the same elbows... what did his look like? Did he like coffee as much as I do? What was his family like? Did he love me? I'd like to assume yes, but how do I know? Little did I know this was a game changer, just didn't know it until I was his age... at his death.

Today I went downtown, as is usual for Mondays, to see my clients. Who for 10 years now have been my standing Monday appointment. But today was different. Just two weeks ago we were running "business as usual" ... and then life flipped on a dime. An unexpected brain tumor and last minute brain surgery, changes the game. We went from lunges to taking care of daily grooming. God is good, and recovery has begun. But different none the less. Game changed.

Then the "new"..... "old" job. It's been great to be back. I feel like I went into a foxhole (or Africa) and have come out a new person. My staff has been so incredibly sweet and kind. Lots of hugs and some tears. Quite a few people have remarked that something seems different, and I simply say thank you. God is good. I have new lines (aka wrinkles) on my face and larger bags under my eyes... and it's ok! I consider it a sign of becoming wiser! Many, many have remarked that something is definitely different... and that I take as a compliment. Game changed.

Africa. Oh my sweet Africa. A year ago I barely could find it on a map. And was terrified to fly. And leave my job... for 3 weeks?? To go to remote bush villages in the middle of nowhere? Are you kidding me? No, God was not kidding. He does not kid. God literally had my heart in His hands the entire time and remolded it into His desired shape. The outline of obedience, love, selflessness, peace, and heartache for what I had no power to change. Heartache for the orphans I couldn't do anything about. Despair for the mothers who wanted so much more but had no way to get it. Exasperation for the lack of basic resources. Africa forever changed the shape of my heart. Game changer.

What if you could see you "game changers" coming? Would you be doing exactly what you are doing right now? Would you definitely NOT be doing what you are doing right now? It can be so cliche to ask this question, but the reality is God wants us to look to Him while asking this on our knees. Obedience. Ask .. obey ... give Him all the glory. He is waiting to change your game too.

I spent a few years in the lukewarm category of my walk with God. I called myself a Christian. I felt like a Christian. I thought about what I thought a Christian would think of. I went to Church every Sunday. I read the Bible. I prayed. I was living a good life. But it was a lukewarm life. And I didn't even realize it.

Changed? Yes. Lukewarm water grows mold. It's a breeding ground for bugs. It's a very dangerous place to stand.

Am I doing what I would be doing if my days were numbered? Yes. Because I am doing exactly what God has asked me to do. And our days are numbered. We just aren't privy to "that date". So I ask you....would your life and walk with God look different if you knew your days were numbered? Would you be doing what you are doing now? Are there I love you's or I'm sorry's that you'd say?

I pray that we all are on our knees seeking His will and returning all of the Glory and Honor to Him as He delights in blessing our obedience.

Monopoly. Drivers Licenses. John.

2011-10-22T20:24:00.000-06:00

You can really learn a lot about people during a game of monopoly. As is typical... all of the teenagers congregate at our house.... so Friday night we made them (yes, made them) put down their electronic devices and actually dust off a board game.. Monopoly! It was a blast! As I looked over at my sons "area" I wondered how he could be so organized with his money and property when his room looks like a bomb went off in there!

Another big event in the Blevins home.. Taylor got her drivers license! Oh yes, she did. Let the sleepless nights begin. I am so proud of her! I promised everyone I would send out a mass text when she was on the road with her plate number... if you see her misbehaving.. call me!

Do you ever have one of those times when you just feel like God has taken you to the other side of a giant mountain? When you were once like the dry dead bones in the valley and now are standing with muscles, tendons, and the breathe of life (Ezek 37)! I have this vision of a zipper. When you are in a time of pain, sadness, doubt, struggle, discouragement... whatever it is you deal with... it can seem like that pain is a giant wound that is unzipped. That will never come back together. Gods plan for each of us is to close that zipper.. with His promises and love. To seek Him above all else. To rely solely on Him. To rest at His feet. I let go of everything He asked me to let go of, and He is bringing back His blessings. I love His way.....LOVE His way. There is abundant joy in His presence.

The depth of my contentment in Him is not expressible in words. D, my second mom, called me this morning. I love her dearly, a woman after Gods own heart. She lost a daughter tragically and God gave us to each other. When I lost my way, she gave me hope. We both know what suffering looks like and we both know how God is able to restore anything He so chooses. No one is beyond His reach, no one. I love her so. She said, My dear.. read John 15, God gave me this scripture for you today! She read it aloud and we could both hear the grin on each others faces over the phone. I have read it several times before but today it just felt like home.

Jesus, the True Vine

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more.You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father.
“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. This is my command: Love each other.

Well, I better stop typing and get the gazillion teens in my living room to go to bed because I'm dragging their booties to youth group in the morning... Early. Well, 8:30am... early to them anyway... lunch time to us old peeps.

Good night!

Joy

2011-10-20T16:13:00.002-06:00

As I am writing this I can barely see the key board through my streaming tears of pure joy. God is so good, so faithful, so right all the time.

The past couple of weeks have been a roller coaster of events. Some great and some not so great. The fundraiser at Red Rocks blew my socks off! Absolutely blessed day. Just days before the event I received a call from someone who I love dearly, telling me that she was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and was having surgery in 5 days. It took all the air out of my lungs. I fell to my knees and quite frankly have been there ever since. She does not know God, but I do and I know that the path to peace is paved with knee prints. So I prayed and prayed. After the event I left for the mountains to retreat and be refreshed by Him. There is something so perfect about being awakened at 4am by Gods whisper and spending time in His presence, secluded in the snowy mountains. I love being with Him. While she was in surgery, I was on my knees. And then the phone call came; she is out, recovering, and the tumor was not cancerous! Praise God! God IS good... all the time. I pray that she will see God at work in her life and allow Him to show Himself during this time.

Then Sunday morning rolls around and I get another unexpected phone call. Apparently the gym I used to manage officially sold. It had been for sale for 2 years. A loooong, drawn out 2 years. Well, it sold.... 4 days ago. And the new owners were calling because they wanted me to come back. Are you kidding me? I kind of laughed and said thank you but no thank you, my heart is in a different place and I am not interested. She persisted. She asked what it would take to get me back.... chuckling again.... I said.. uh, let me work on a very limited part time basis and raise money for wells in Africa! Ask and you shall receive! Done deal. What a whirlwind. I'm back, on my own terms this time. God first, everything else second.

Then... a friend of mine handed me a card this morning... with a check... for the well in Africa... for $2500! I balled my eyes out. Unbelievable. Absolutely incredible. Thank you doesn't even describe. In less than thirty days you all have raised almost enough money to give clean water to an entire village of people in Africa. With a goal if $5000... we only have less then $1500 left. I am in awe at watching God orchestrate this entire journey. All glory to God, all of it. This could be the fastest fundraising effort Charity Water has ever seen!

I keep waking up around 4am, with God whispering in my ear. Showing me images of these people who will be blessed by this water. It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Literally. You are not just giving money, friends. You are changing the landscape of an entire community, for generations and generations. Literally. I cry every time I visualize the children that have no shoes or water. And the mothers who grieve and weep for their families because they know the water they are drinking is killing them. But they can't do anything about it. Think about that. I look at my kids and shudder to think I could not provide them with safety in nourishment. It's unspeakable. You are changing everything. It's not just money you are donating, it's giving life. Not only in the physical realm, but in the spiritual one. It is simply not enough to preach the gospel to someone and not meet their basic needs. Water is a basic need. And Jesus is the Living Water. Do you see how this is so closely knit?

Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, 'Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.'

--John 7:38, NLT

Thank you for blessing these people. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Red Rocks Charity Water Fitness Challenge!

2011-10-14T22:13:00.000-06:00

Tonight, as I sit icing my entire body, sucking down water like it's going out of style (no pun intended)... I find myself feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for all of you that came out today to participate in the Red Rocks Fitness Challenge for the Charity Water Fundraiser! It was a smashing HIT! Over 30 people came for a butt kicking and breakfast... Thanks to Liva Elsell and her husband. Next time you're in Lone Tree stop by her yummy deli; Moze Cafe!

There were a few folks I never met... now we are bff's! And some who traveled all the way from Australia! Fresh off the airplane! High props on that one! You all raised double what I had anticipated and donations are still flowing into the website! If you would like to contribute to the well water project directly ... here's the link!

The day just cannot be described in words... so.. I made a movie! I just want to thank you all for participating in this journey with me! You are blessing so many with your generosity and I am humbled to tears!

Oh.. and i received an email from Charity Water this morning... seems they are following the big things happening here in Colorado! Your enthusiasm for this well in Africa is causing quite the stir in the big city! I'm planning a trip out to NYC here very soon to be on site with them! Very exciting for us indeed! As they say in Ghana... God is Good.... ALL the time! And He deserves all of the Glory here today!

1 Peter 4:10-11 God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever!

Now..... grab some popcorn and a tall glass of water.... Let the movie begin!

Charity Water Fitness Challenge! from noell blevins on Vimeo.

Footloose!

2011-10-08T14:12:00.000-06:00

How I love Colorado! It's a snowy Saturday afternoon and my tush is firmly placed on the couch watching college football in my pj's and fuzzy socks. Taylor has just informed me her boyfriend is on his way over for the day and is having dinner with us tonight.... after we stand outside later tonight, freezing our brains out at Zachs football game. Ahh, to be the mom of teenagers! Guess I better dust off my cookbooks. Frankly, I am still recovering from last weekends marathon... I'm waaay too old to be staying out uuntil midnight.. but seeing Amy Grant, Mandisa, Night Ranger, Journey, and Foreigner all in the same day rocked! Still recovering... in my pj's... on the couch... watching football... Dang I feel old. I need another coffee. But that would require movement. And I'm way to sore from boot camp and pilates to consider it. So, here I'll sit.

As the seasons change here in Colorado it causes me to consider the changing seasons in my life. Writing my testimony brought up many feelings that I've been sifting through all week. I heard from so many of you that could relate to my struggle and fear of "not performing" and could relate to the story of grace. We are all on a journey, one that is never ending. And this season is just that, a season. Taylor is college hunting over fall break in another state, and it makes me happy but sad. My baby girl? Going to college? Really... where did all the time go? And Zach is preparing for high school and more interested in girls and football than spending time making cookies with his mommy. When did all of this happen? I look over at my husband and think, what are we going to do when they are all gone? And the career I spent years cultivating, done. By choice, yes. By faith, yes. Doesn't mean everyday is easy, however. Many seasons coming to pass at the same time. Should make for an exciting future!

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

A Time for Everything

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

Every time I read this it reminds me of one of my favorite 80's movies, Footloose! Maybe I'll go rent it today :-) Happy Saturday friends!

What do YOU do?

2011-10-05T11:56:00.002-06:00

I've been doing a lot of networking lately for Charity Water and the fundraising campaign I have started.. and the question I get asked a lot is what do you do for a living? That's a good question. It used to be pretty simple, I manage a gym. Well, that was then... this is now. My office is so different these days.. check out where I do a lot of my work.. I love my new digs! I guess the answer now is I am a professional volunteer! Works for me....

I've got some speaking engagements coming up in effort to raise awareness of the global water crisis and how to be a part of the solution. If you would like to have a presentation for your business or organization, please use the "contact me" button on the right.

We are t-minus 10 days until the big Red Rocks Boot Camp for Charity Water! Many have already RSVP'd on Facebook, thank you! Some of you I have never even met and I just want to thank you for being a part of this important fundraiser and opening your hearts to this crisis. My cup runneth over!

If you would like to contribute to the well project, but can't make Red Rocks, Click here to go directly to my fundraising page.

Now, please turn up your speakers and enjoy this short video.. Why Water?

Just Do It... My Testimony

2011-10-02T11:26:00.000-06:00

When I think about my life... and how I came to this place to know God as I do today... it is very undulating. It's not "light bulb" ish. It's not like I woke up one day and just knew Jesus. I certainly was not raised in a Christian home. I thought Church was a place everyone went on Easter after a shopping spree at Macy's for a dress, gloves, and the once a year hat. And quite frankly the cross hanging in the sanctuary with this guy hanging on it freaked me out and had me wondering why people would willingly come to look at this as opposed to go eat brunch? I mean woa... really?  I grew up thinking the Bible was a table decoration and Jesus was somewhere in the clouds watching me waiting for me to screw up so he could send a lightening bolt down to zap me. In my dress, gloves, and hat. I learned very early to learn to take care of myself and not rely on anyone, especially some invisible man. Or any man for that matter. And that how good you were depended on performance and results. Not grace. I had never heard that word before.

Life rolled on and I got married very young to my high school boyfriend who I met at the age of 15. Moved to Texas. Lived the life of a military wife. Had our daughter and spent a lot of time raising her, alone. James had been deployed to Korea for an entire year when Taylor was 2 months old. New mom... alone. But, I was accustomed to doing things on my own. Again, rely on no one. Stay in the bubble of "trust no one" and like Nike says.. Just Do It. It was a tough year but I knew I was strong in my ability to raise this sweet baby girl, alone.

Well J came back from Korea 13 months later to a family he really didn't know. Back then there were no cell phones or email so our communication for that time was limited to a monthly 5 minute phone call and many written letters ( I still have them all). And soon after he returned we became expectant parents again! To my sweet baby Zach. I figured this time around we would be more stable. There was a threat that J would be deployed to Iraq but we were just happy to be expecting again. He remained states side my entire pregnancy and Zach was born in December 1997. Healthy and perfect! I thought... ok, we finally made it to easy street. Living in Lone Tree, two kids, steady income, dinner together most every night. I finally had the stability I had so desired. And was thinking maybe... just maybe I could "trust" this. He was (is) such a great husband. He never, ever disappointed me. He allowed me to let him Just Do It so I could just be.  It seemed I had I had finally found the peace in my soul I had needed my entire life. I let my fight or flight response to life fizzle to a hum of cautious optimism. And then March 3rd 1998 rolled around. When once again my life as trust nothing came running back at me. My husband fell asleep driving to work at Ft. Carson around 3:30am driving 85 mph. And was nearly killed. I got the knock at my front door 6 hours later. I was putting pig tails in Taylors' hair for pre-school when the knock came. My husband was on the brink of death in a coma in a Denver hospital. My world collapsed as I knew it that very moment, and it never returned.

I remember sitting by his hospital bed, holding his lifeless hand, listening to the hum of the machines that were keeping him alive and wondering if there were really a God... why did he let this happen to my family? If there were this omnipotent figure that made the rules for this place... what had I ever done to deserve this catastrophe? And James? He wouldn't have hurt a fly. Why him? There is nothing more devastating than being 24 and being told your husband will likely die. And to prepare the family and make arrangements. I was crushed. I sat next to his bed for days. My family would bring Zach to the hospital so I could nurse him and then take him away. And I just sat there. Addicted to the numbers that were flashing on the screen next to his bed. I remember matching my breathing to the rhythm of the ventilator that was breathing for him.. like it somehow drew me closer to him. I kept picking up his hand, waiting for it to receive mine. But it didn't. I would talk to him, cry on him, yell at him, I stared at his eye lids wondering what was happening under them.... I figured if he only knew how much I was hurting he would wake up and make it all better like he always had before. And I prayed to this God I knew from a far... I tried to bargain with him. Give me back my husband and I will be good. I promise. I will do whatever "good" Christians do. Whatever that is. Just please.. wake him up. I am begging you God.

Much to the doctors surprise, J survived this devastating accident. As the weeks rolled into months and months into years... J learned how to "be" again. He had to re-learn everything. Standing, swallowing, breathing and swallowing, talking, writing. You name it. He had to redo it all. It took years. And I found myself once again in the just do it, rely on no one category. And I had prayed to "this God" for my husband to live but what I didn't expect was that I would not know this man. I didn't marry this man. Didn't God remember I asked for my husband to live, not bring me a stranger. I was mad. Mad at God. Mad at James. Mad at my life. Once again left to fend for myself and just do it. This time feeling abandoned by the one man in my life who had never let me down... until now.

During the years after his accident, we had tried to go to church a few times. I had this suspicion that there had to be more to this life than the way we were living it. But I just never felt it. I just couldn't get past this little anger problem with God. Why? Why my family? Why my sweet husband? Why my kids? Why?

The way I saw it was if I could control it, it wouldn't let me down. Because I had never made a really, really bad mistake. I was a good girl who always sought to please and it had served me well to this point. We eventually moved to where we live now and started attending the local church. Didn't really mean much to me. I knew no one. But James insisted. So when I would take the occasional Sunday day off from triathlon training I would go with him and the kids. But I was still angry with God so it was a "going through the motions" deal... nothing else.

Then one summer James and I finally had it out. I was sick of trying and he was sick of letting everyone down. And frankly I was sick of being let down. Our marriage was falling apart at the seams and I was drowning in self reliance... and I had very little self left. I was exhausted from trying... my just do it was turning to a just get me out of here.  Intermittent church attendance was not fixing all of the cracks I had hoped it would. I would look around at all of these people who seemed so together and apparently knew something about this God figure I didn't because they smiled a lot and appeared to have such passion for this "God" person. But my life was crumbling. I was sick of being the glue that held a family together. Sick of having a husband that wasn't like all the rest... didn't go to work everyday, didn't captain our ship, and was temperamental. The rock I had relied on 10 years ago was now reduced to a pebble in my shoe that I kept stumbling over. I was done. I gave up. We both gave up. One July day we called it quits. I called someone close to us and asked them to come over because J was leaving. She came instantly. And found a family in pieces. My just do it had officially turned to I can't. She sat us down and through her tears, my anger, and J's desperation... and called God into this situation. She said many, many things that I won't share but the gist of it was you are right, you can't do this. But God can. You need to try to trust Him. We had nothing else left so we tried.

A year or so went by and James was embedding himself in the Church. He was flourishing into this productive, Godly man and I was thrilled. He was volunteering with the youth and found so much joy in helping in any way he could.  I was watching my family reclaim valuable lost items. Maybe this God person really does have the answers? Our family had turned an important corner and God was making Himself center stage.

But what about me? I was falling in love with God. After years of praying for this life I had so desired, He was finally giving it to me. I must have done something right for Him to finally give me peace back. But what about failure? How did failure fit into this equation? What if I failed God? I had never failed before... I never entertained that word before. So it didn't need that much attention.

As a little girl, it was ingrained in me to succeed. Perform well. Exceed expectations. Over shoot the mark. Don't screw up or you will pay the consequences. It is what it is.. that was the motto. So my life had very little "screw ups".. If there was a line to follow, rest assured I followed it. So I saw my relationship with God under this umbrella. I knew better, I knew He was grace centered. But I wasn't. I was performance based.

It wasn't until I failed myself... not James failing me... but me failing myself... did I fall on my hands and knees in utter brokenness. I could no longer just do it. I just knew God hated me. I had not "performed" to His expectations. Or mine. Or James'. I ultimately failed, myself. I turned my back on God once and for all and thought this is it. There is no hope.

When you look failure in the eyes for the first time it is terrifying. I crumbled. I had only crumbled once before in my life... sitting next to James' hospital bed.... and I had vowed to never crumble again.

It was in that sacred space that God finally touched my life in a way that I didn't know existed. He took a bat to the back of my knees so that I would stop running. My failure was His delight. When I finally picked my face up off the ground and looked at Him, His grace was right there. I failed but He did not. He was waiting. All these years of just do it were melting before my eyes. Every breath I took relied on His mercy and love. I was finally in a place that my very existence relied on His presence. His words. His touch. His promise. And He has not disappointed me, not for a second.

God loves clay pots. The more shattered you are the more glory He receives when He puts you back together in His divine way. Some clay pots just take more time to break apart then others. I'm a fighter so I fought my busting apart for years. I am the glue that holds things together... not the one that shatters things apart. Or so I thought. God is such a lover of our souls that he will do anything to get them. He is so jealous for us. And I know this for sure. It just took many, many years for Him to get mine completely.

My Just Do It tendency is alive but not well. I pray heavily everyday that God will keep me humbly kneeling at His feet. I need to filter my thoughts through His words everyday. I feel like I am still on the ground looking up at Him. What I had been longing for my whole life I had been looking for in others, in my husband. But as God puts this clay pot back together I can feel His arms reaching for me and telling me I don't have to just do it any longer. Because He already has.

So there it is. My testimony as it stands today. No light bulbs. No bows and ribbons. Just a girl who was terrified to let go of her Just Do it.

Red Rocks Challenge!

2011-09-28T20:55:00.000-06:00

This has just been the most splendid week! Boot camp was killer today... I had some extra time today (the lack of a full time job sure helps!)... so I put my trusty road bike in the car and headed out for a ride after class. There are some really great, quick climbs right near the park we "boot camp" at so I headed out to tackle them. It rocked. It felt really good to be able to hammer the climbs and pass dudes on the way up. There was one problem with my route, however... lots and lots of construction. Makes for a tight squeeze and tricky spots. But once you clear them the climbs were wide open. I had a great ride and was headed back to my car when I remembered why I dislike riding in Lone Tree/ Highlands Ranch... fissures in the road. Large gaps in the pavement. Yep... I was riding with traffic (yes, I know drivers hate this) and was literally in the middle of Quebec when BAM! My front tire fell in a huge crack... I about flew off of my bike right there. My left foot managed to unclip itself and I was about to fly over my bike when the construction I was cursing an hour ago saved me... I ran right into a caution sign in the median. Caution? Oh man. It saved me from being mangled by the car behind me and from propelling over my bike! Pretty sure that driver got a large gasp out of that one! And yes, I am perfectly fine. Note to self... watch out for fissures! And don't curse the signs that save you!

Red Rocks Challenge! I have organized a Fitness Challenge boot camp at Red Rocks with my dear friend and crazy fitness pro, Mighty Heidi!

Check out the video for details!

Don't forget.. no boot camp this Friday! And Journey is here this weekend! Oh man... I can hardly contain myself! Have a great night!

Uhhhh, Heeelllooo? Can Someone come help me?!

2011-09-27T15:43:00.000-06:00

Holy moly.... it is hot in Denver! Boot camp has been off the chain fun and the weather is certainly cooperating!

I have yet to share with you all some really great moments in Ghana, Africa. One of them is what was happening in these pictures...

One of the things that I made clear prior to going to Ghana was that I am not gifted in the VBS/kid department. There is nothing wrong with VBS.... but the thought of teaching VBS for 3 days to 500 kids gave me hives (like crafts!). Just not my "thing"... I wanted to work with the women. Well, God had a different plan for sure. And it became the running joke with my team. Everywhere I went....the kids flocked to me. Everywhere. In the bush, in the village, in the Cape Coast, at HODEM. Everywhere.

In the above pictures I had just gotten out of Pastor Victors car at the field where VBS was taking place. I was there to snap some photos. So I stepped out of Victors car and he vanished... poof! So I am standing in the middle of nowhere and all of a sudden ALL of the kids, like 100 or so, just came running over and stood staring at me. Literally, staring at me. They were everywhere. I just kinda froze and looked around for a VBS teacher or just another adult. I was like, "uh, hheeeellloooo!!!!!! Can someone come help me!" Well, no one was remotely around... so I stood there staring back at the kids. And I thought, well.... I gotta do something. So I decided to do an "experiment". I had noticed that both the kids and adults liked to mimic/mirror other people. So, I clapped my hands once. In sequence, this kids repeated me. So I did it twice, they repeated.. in unison. Then I clapped a rhythm.... yep, you guessed it, perfect unison. Then I made faces.. they mirrored. It was perfect! So I took a picture of them... can you tell from he picture what I was doing? This went on for a good 10 minutes. Then I was rescued by a VBS person!

Then there was Compassion International. I'm sure you all have heard of this awesome organization. For just $38 a month you can sponsor a child who will receive food, clean water, medical care, and educational opportunities all because of YOUR sponsorship! $38 bucks! I think I can skip a few Starbucks drive-thrus for that (sorry Starbucks!). Now... prior to going to Africa, James and I had been sponsoring with Compassion. So I had a little background about the organization. But when I was in Ghana, I actually saw Compassion in action. The local office was on site at HODEM (Hour of Deliverance Evangelical Ministry) where we were home based out of. I'm a curious person by default (thank you Jesus) so I asked many question and spent some time with the Compassion International representative. He was a native Ghanaian who works fill time with the upwards of 300 kids sponsored in the surrounding villages. See those files?? .... there is a complete, detailed file on EVERY sponsored child. The sponsored kids get a physical every year. That is HUGE! That alone is worth my $38 bucks! There is an educational program that the kids follow that is Christian based and the kids actually do write their own letters to YOU! Do your own research friends, check out their website HERE!

So many moments... you'd be fast asleep (without your Starbucks) if I told them all to you. Suffice it to say... Africa is a magical place and I will be back there sooner rather than later! That is fo sho!

Pinholes

2011-09-26T12:23:00.003-06:00

Happy Monday! I just wrapped up boot camp for the day and am enjoying sitting in the sun, coffee in hand, writing to you..... my friends. Such a busy, busy weekend it was and another one on the horizon.

Pinholes.

I have spent a lot of time lately thinking about pinholes. I look at my life and the events of my life and I can see how God uses certain times as launching pad for His ultimate purpose. The tendency is to see things through the human eye as opposed to Gods eye. Because, well... we are human! And that's what we do. But contemplate for a moment the fact that our viewpoint compared to Gods is like reading a book through the eye of a needle seeing one letter at a time as opposed to being the author who can see every page (times a million). We live on the letter... God sees the library.

When I think about my pinhole moments, when I was focused on the now and trying to make sense of life, I could only see my tiny world. My tiny letter. Like trying to teach a child to read. Getting stuck on sounding out this one word. Fortunately I had a really, really, good teacher/mentor who helped me understand that "pinhole" mentality. I spent months with her studying pinholes. And now she is one of my dearest friends. I am blessed by her friendship and encouragement. I came to her in a season of turmoil and I leave her in a season of renewal. The day I met her I never, ever, ever would have known that Gods plan was far beyond what we originally set out to accomplished, far beyond what we could have ever imagined. Her daughter, who was savagely murdered, had a huge heart for orphans in Africa. After her death, her friends opened an orphanage in Uganda and named it after her. And I hope to get there one day very soon. Hopefully this summer! Never saw that one coming 6 months ago! When God moves, HE MOVES! Again... my pinhole verses His plan.

So today I stand before this very blank canvas. I remember saying to someone months ago that I felt like God was pulling the rug out from underneath me. And He was. He did. It's all gone. The last piece to go was letting go of my job. And since I let go I haven't looked back at it once. I understand He is the author of this story and I trust Him completely. I heard this analogy a while back and it really resonates with me. When we fight Gods ultimate will, or we struggle against it, it's like a ship that is anchored at a dock. When a storm comes, the ship will overturn and be destroyed because it was anchored and couldn't withstand the blows. But if that ship had been free to ride the storm in the water, un-anchored, riding the waves and being free to accept the current... it will survive the storm.

I have no idea what I am getting myself into with starting a non-profit. I have no experience in this department whatsoever. But I know that I know that I know this is Gods hand. He has opened my eyes to the WOW's of Africa (widows, orphans, water) and I am untethered and willing to accept His way. He will never put a burden on your heart without provisions. Ever. And that's all I need to know....

Well, I better get going. I'm getting sunburned out here and I've got a lot of work to do! Ciao friends!

Dirty Buckets!

2011-09-22T09:26:00.000-06:00

Buckets. All kind of buckets each having their own label; peacemaker, forgiven, redeemed, sinner, broken, lost, found, sad, happy. The list can go on and on. What if you wrote down all the names of the buckets in your life; your bucket list. What would they be labeled? What would that look like? I have many, many buckets. Too many in fact. Have you ever been so overcome with grief, anger, sadness, sin that you just lay on your hands and knees pounding the ground with your fists? With the names of your buckets screaming at you. I have. We all have. It's a tough place to be. Dirty buckets we call our lives. Everyday we choose what bucket we are going to live in that day. It's so easy to let your mind control your bucket. And such a dangerous, dangerous crossroads. Those buckets can be really, really tough to crawl out of. It's the ultimate battle.

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Now make a list of all of the names Jesus has for you. Look at his bucket. It much bigger, wider, deeper, stronger. It's an all encompassing bucket; forgiven, redeemed, righteous, honorable, Holy... the list goes on. His bucket is not a condemning bucket. It is a forgiving, loving bucket. A shiny, new bucket. His bucket is laced with strong armor...

This battle is quite possibly the hardest battle fought. And it seems to never end. I'm not sure it ever does. I was running with a friend at boot camp the other day and we were talking about this "bucket list" issue everyone faces. Strongholds. The Greek word is a military word, meaning "fortress." A soldier would define it as an area in which the enemy is entrenched. And that’s what it means when we speak of Satan’s stronghold in our lives.

Paul writes to the Corinthians: 2 Cor 10:4-5
"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

That is what we are instructed to do in order to kick those buckets over... take them captive and kick them over with the Truth, Gods word. His bucket. The only true bucket.

Paul further encourages the Ephesians to put on the armor of God in the waging of the battle. The armor of God provides the Christian with the characteristics of Christ Himself--truth, righteousness, the gospel of peace, faith, salvation, and the power of the Word of God.

And how are these weapons to be brought into action for the purpose of demolishing strongholds in our lives and in the lives of those we love? Eph 6:18

"...pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests...be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

Prayer is the warfare. Prayer is the engagement, the assault on the stronghold we seek to bring down.
Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you as you take the following steps to kick those buckets over;

1. Identify the stronghold--what is it, and what is its effect?

2. Claim the truth of 1 John 4:4: "...the one (the Spirit of Christ) who is in you is greater than the one (Satan) who is in the world...

3. Accept your responsibility as a soldier of the King to put on the armor every day and engage the enemy in the battlefield of prayer.

4. Standing on the Word of God, and claiming the power of the risen Lord, through His blood shed on the cross for the defeat of Satan and his angels, pray until the stronghold is destroyed.

5. Enlist other prayer warriors to join you; share the details of the stronghold so that all prayers will be specific, direct and fearless.

6. Trust that God will respond as He has promised, and that the defeat of the enemy is certain through the victory already achieved by the Savior on Calvary.

7. Rejoice in the victory, even as you begin praying. God will honor your trust, just as He will honor your diligence and perseverance.

25 Again!

2011-09-21T07:57:00.000-06:00

It's been an epic week of football (Broncos finally WON!!!!), Homecoming, boot camps, and birthdays!

Last weekend my beautiful daughter went to her Junior year Homecoming. Yes, I'm that mom... the one who put all her friends in the car and took them to the the Mac counter at the mall for a morning makeover... made them lunch... danced in the kitchen... and helped them get ready. I actually have 4 daughters... and two sons. They all call me mom and I love them all!

Then my best girlfriend came over and did all their hair. They all looked so beautiful!

We spent the entire day primping and talking about the evening to come. What not to so... what to do.... the "what if" scenarios. I think we covered them all.

They all spent the night after the dance and Sunday morning they woke to scrambled eggs and cinnamon rolls! Tough to be 16, right? It's crazy to think James and I went to Homecoming together 22 years ago... NO, there will be no pictures of that!

And, I am another year older. Yes, I turned 25 (again) yesterday. The closing of a year and the opening of a brand new one. What a year it was. Lots of highs and some lows. I have learned to thank God in advance for the work He is doing in my life and how to meet every high and low with a thankful heart. God has placed some amazing Godly women in my life this year and I am sooooooo grateful! Sooo grateful.

Birthday celebrations with my favorite people!

Jesus Calling; Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don't what lies ahead, I know; and that is enough! Some of My richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight, but nontheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith- not by sight. This doesn't mean closing your eyes to what is all around you. It means subordinating the visible world to the invisible Shepherd of your soul.

Sometimes I lead you up a high mountain with only My hand to support you. The higher you climb, the more spectacular the view becomes; also, the more keenly you sense your separation from the world with all its problems. This frees you to experience exuberantly the joyous reality of My presence. Give yourself fully to these Glory-moments, awish in dazzling Light. I will eventually lead you down the mountain, back into community with others. Let My Light continue to shine within you as you walk among people again.

Vlog!

2011-09-19T20:08:00.000-06:00

First VLOG!!

BABY!!!!!

2011-09-17T10:18:00.000-06:00

It's early Saturday morning and the house is quiet.... everyone is still sleeping and I am a bit sleepy from a late night with my girlfriends. We had a great night reminiscing about our trip to Ghana, The highs, lows, and valleys in between.

I had forgotten about the "trick" I played on my sweet husband in the Denver airport. It was so funny. Here's how it went down....

We had little contact while in Ghana. Very little. I had told him about the orphans and how I so wanted to save them all. How it just broke my heart. And that I had done some asking around about how adoption works from Ghana and sought out orphanage information. At the end of our trip, I called him from our satellite phone in the Ghana airport and said I had a special surprise for him! It was a very brief call and I said I couldn't go into details but to be prepared. He kept trying to get me to spill details and I just said love you..gotta go!

The next day we landed in Denver and with the whole plane was watching as I put on the wig my Ghana girlfriend Janet gave me. My girlfriend gave me her pillow and I wrapped it up in my flannel blanket. The plan was in place. My friends would go out in front of me with my luggage. I would come up from the terminal with the "baby" behind them. So we get off the train and they all go up the escalator ahead of me. Our husbands were anxiously awaiting our arrival at the top of the escalator. My friend, Laura, had my luggage and James immediately asked her where I was. She answered quickly and said oh, she's got the baby...she's coming. He didn't even have to comprehend what she had said before I came up the escalator. Black hair and baby.

I began walking towards him and Laura's husband whispers to her... what did she do to her hair? I walked towards James and the look in his eyes was priceless. I thought he was going to pass out.

I walked up to him and handed him "the baby"... he seriously almost flipped out! Look honey!

He immediately realized it was not a baby and got a major laugh. And the hair.... he was like, um.... tell me that's a wig please. It was sooooo funny! Yes babe, it's a wig! We all had a huge laugh out of it....

Well friends... it's Homecoming day and I've got lots of teenagers to attend to and football to watch (Go ZACH!!!)... Have a stupendous weekend!

Period. Comma,

2011-09-14T19:34:00.000-06:00

It's amazing how busy one can be... after quitting a full time job! It hasn't been even two weeks since I left the gym rat race and I am already filled with exciting changes. I was immediately approached with new opportunities and took the one that fit my new life goals! To raise support and awareness for Widows, Orphans, and Water in 3rd world countries; particularly African countries... combining my love and passion for health and wellness. It's all still in motion and probably will be for quite some time. I've partnered with some close friends and am learning how to create a 100% non-profit to fund specific projects in these countries. I just cannot forget about the W.O.W's (widows, orphans, water) of Africa. Hence the birth of W.O.W Outdoor Boot Camp and W.O.W Pilates! If you are interested in joining either one of these, use the "contact me" link to the right and I will get you all the details; times and locations of the workouts.

So many have asked why? Why did I leave my job. Why did I leave the consistency and the environment I once loved? The answer lies in the comma.....

Comma or period. That is the question. At the end of your days do you want a period at the end of your story or a comma?

There is something so profound about looking into the eyes of a small child, a mom, a dad that is dying because they don't have basic life sustaining resources. Water. Or the orphan that has no one to shelter them. No one to protect them. No one to tuck them in at night... heck, they don't even have beds to get tucked into. I am so broken over this. How can I turn back to my life in the US and just keep going? I am haunted by what my eyes have seen. I am burdened by grief for these people. I find myself getting angry at the grocery store that we have a gazillion types of water to choose from and I can't seem to make a solid decision to save my life. A friend asked me where we should meet for lunch and I just couldn't pull one choice together. Please, just tell me where to go, I finally replied. I cry out to God and ask what do You want me to do with all of this information? This burden is heavy and my heart is overwhelmed.

It never ceases to amaze me. I think I'm going down one path... God is all over the details. Fingerprints everywhere. And then..BAM! Change of direction. I went to Africa with a certain "plan" in my head for my return, and I came home with no plan and loads of burdens with no answers. That's tough. Really tough. The images of the babies and children are just racing through my mine 24/7. And I cry out to God to speak to me... pleading just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I promise, I'll do it. Then I think back to a year ago when James and I started the adoption process, we were so excited. Then life gets messy and time stops in it's tracks. And I remember a dream I had last December... there were orphans everywhere, I was on a beach, and I was in another country. I remember that dream. Very well. Could this be?

Then the other day as I was strolling through the store... trying to decide which type of apple to buy... my friend called me as she was sobbing. Same burden. After living in Uganda for three years, working in an orphanage, she stumbled across some old photos she hasn't seen in 6 years. Orphans. With nothing. Nothing. We are friends for a purpose. I firmly believe God gives and takes away... and I am grateful He gave me her. She understands the blank look in my eye when I drift off. My body is here, but my heart is still there. And so is hers.

I am only certain of a few things in this life; I have nothing and am nothing apart from God. Without Him I am just a run down, selfish, battered past, sinner. I cannot do anything apart from Jesus. Nothing. Every time I try, I fail.. epically. I know Jesus is with me, always. And he has changed the direction of life. And I need to be constantly reminded to remain humble and small in this world. God does not recognize ego or pride. He has no use for it. One of my favorite scriptures;

1 John 2:15-17 Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

I have not a clue what my future holds. I hand my burdens over at the foot of the cross everyday, sometimes many times a day. When I see the picture in my mind of the little girl sleeping alone, amidst trash and bugs, I ask why... how.... when... what can I do? Don't harden my heart as time goes by...

I don't want my life to be a period. A means to an end. There has to be a continuation of the story. I can't handle the burning pain in my chest for these orphans;

widows....

and water.... or not water

Ways you can help be a part of the solution right now;

Prayer. We are forming a Prayer for Africa group. It is the first step. Every week we meet as a group and pray for this beautiful continent. It is essential. We are committed.
Willing for Water fundraiser. 100% of the funds donated will go a well project. Nothing else but the well. Click Here to donate! $5000 changes the entire landscape of these Villages.
W.O.W Boot Camp and W.O.W Pilates. I teach these classes and donate 10% of gross sales per month to Compassion International (until the non-profit is formed then will fund W.O.W). Boot Camp is at a local park three days a week and only costs $5! Pilates Reformer is $25 per class and taught at a private studio in Lone Tree and Castle Rock. Contact me directly for details! Contact me button to the right!

James 1.27

Willing for Water!

2011-09-08T22:12:00.000-06:00

Water. We run our faucets without thinking about it. We buy it at the store without second thought. In fact, we even have a barrage of choices; spring, purified, mineral, sparkling... and so on! It's just how we live.

One major thing I learned in Africa was that my assumption of available, clean water was just that.. an assumption. I was absolutely floored at the scarcity of this resource I had 12 hours earlier taken for granted. Heck, I think I threw away a bottle of water in the JFK airport because I couldn't go through security with it.

When we visited the 7 bush villages, it became very evident that one major player changed the landscape of each individual village; well or no well. The villages with wells were more organized, tidy, cheerful, loud, clean. The people were healthier. More vibrant. Kids laughed. They may be living in grass huts in the middle of nowhere, but they were happy.

Then there were the villages that relied on this for water....

Yes, this is where they drank and bathed. People on this earth are drinking this. They are dying because of this. They are getting serious disease from this. They are infested with worms because of this. They have water, they just can't get to it deep in the ground. They need a well! A $5,000 well. Just $5,000.

I am so committed to raising awareness and money for access to clean, safe drinking water. I will do anything (or without anything) to make a difference. Yes, I am just one chick. But I know a lot of you read this blog and if we all pitch in we CAN make a difference! Are you Willing for Water?

I have started a fundraising campaign in conjunction with a non-profit called Charity: Water based out of NYC. 100% of all funds go directly to this well project. $5000 will buy a well for an entire village! Changing their entire way of life! Check out my fundraising page here; http://mycharitywater.org/willingforwater

Watch this 3 minute video and see why your donation is so important!

Perspective(s)

2011-09-05T15:47:00.000-06:00

Passion; is the heart set free to pursue that which is truly worthy. Those who set their hearts on what is most worthy- the Glory of God- live with joy-filled abandon. Their hearts are both seized and satisfied with the ambition for Jesus to be ardently worshiped. That love comes to dominate and integrate all other desires so that they live in the freedom of single-minded purpose.

This is an expert from the book Perspectives on the World Christian Movement. James and I enrolled in this 15 week certificate class a couple of months ago; after I had committed to going to Africa. It began the week I got back. This statement on passion could be my personal bio right now. It describes exactly how I feel.

One of the many things God revealed to me in Africa was that we can do so much more with so much less. It was so clear. No question. And the orphans. Oh the orphans. I just wanted to scoop them up and tell them how much God loves them and that He has not abandoned them. That He loves them with a special love. That they have a special seat in His Kingdom. There was one baby in particular that God just spoke in no uncertain terms to me through. He was recently orphaned (last week). And was just a baby. We prayed for this baby with hands on his body and God just said to me DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON THE ORPHANS. So clear. It was intense. I cried. Of course. Adoption has been on hold and we've just been waiting to see if God brought it back... just to know for sure this is HIS will for us. It came back all right... with a lightening rod attached to it. James 1:27.

God has so changed my heart and what it desires. It has been occurring for months now. He is placing this strong desire to join His global mission; to bring Glory to God on all of the earth drawing worship of all people, all nations. He is a jealous God and is wanting to be exalted by all Nations and all people. It wasn't until I became the object of His mercy and grace that I truly understood how great and powerful He is. I had read about it. I had heard others stories. But to be the object of His redemptive power is a whole other story. And I give Him all of the glory for my life and everything in it.

So I have questioned for a while now, what do I do with this new forming perspective? Do I go back to the ways of the world? Do I keep moving as status quo? Do I keep my comforts in life and just give more to the needy? The answer for me was clear, no. After months of prayer, I went back to work at the gym for about 2 hours and resigned on the spot. There were many factors that came into play but the most important one was that God has a different plan for my life. And it doesn't include that place. There were tears and lots of questions, but I know this is not an end of something but yet the beginning of something with a greater purpose. This decision has major, major impact on how my family lives, but I know God has us in His grip and all things will work out for the good. Of that I am certain. Yahweh Yireeh, The Lord will provide.

Barking Dogs, Lunges, Wigs, Squats, and Laughter.. African Style!

2011-09-03T10:00:00.000-06:00

We set out for the airport to head to Ghana on a bright and sunny Friday morning! We survived the previous evening with the OnStar dude. Bags packed, car full, we were off!

Jeanne and I sat next to each other on the flight to NYC. The plane was freezing. The guy behind us got a kick out of our flannel sheet!~ Yes, I brought a flannel sheet to Africa!~

After a layover at JFK, we finally boarded the long flight to Ghana. Little did we know we would sit at the gate and then on the tarmac for almost 3.5 hours before actually taking off. There was bad whether and all flights were grounded. So me, being a slight extrovert, took the opportunity to teach my segment of the plane how to exercise during flight. There was this sweet Ghanaian woman sitting a few rows up and we became fast friends. She called me the white Jillian Micheal's. I taught her how to lunge right there in the isles of the plane. It was hysterical.

Then there were THE DOGS! Two little yippy dogs were on this flight. And guess where they sat? Right behind me. Under my seat.... barking the ENTIRE 12 hours. I am so not kidding. I took an Ambien at some point over the Atlantic and drugged myself into a coma so I could get a break from the incessant barking... it was wild! I took a picture from under my seat... The little culprit is in there!

While in Ghana we did have some down time. So on afternoon while out on excursions we had a little dance party. The ladies taught me their African moves and I taught them the sprinkler!

Then there was the wig. My sweet Ghanaian friend Janet (Bopee), wanted to see what I looked like with black hair one day. So... she put her wig on me in the van. She is such a sweet woman. I had given her my neck pillow in the van and she wore it everywhere. I mean everywhere. See it? She even wore it like a necklace when we were visiting a Church Plant site. It wasn't that she didn't know what it's intended use was, it was that I had given it to her and we now have this instant friendship.

So a few days later she came to me with an offering.... my very own wig! She bought it for me with a necklace. It was soooo sweet! Friends forever!

One of the conference days I got to teach the women how to squat and exercise properly. I threw my jeans on under my skirt and got many, many odd looks as I walked the local road. Crazy American...

The women absolutely LOVED exercising! Loved it! The laughed and laughed. And they all wanted a picture with me squatting. My nickname while in Africa was Valley Girl. I guess when you have blonde hair and blue eyes that's the name you get in Africa. Everywhere I went... Valley Girl. Even the kids yelled it as I walked by.

My sweet, lovely roomie and I one night before dinner. Valley girl style! I have naturally curly hair that just went crazy in Africa! There was one night my roomie and I just had a laugh breakdown. Must have been close to midnight in our room and were laughing like little kids for what seemed hours. Over what I'm still unclear. I guess God knew we needed some uplifting moments!

We visited this National Park where we did a tree top canopy walk over the rain forest. I was terrified! Beyond belief. It's hundreds of feet in the air and you walk this single plank board with ropes around it over the top of the trees. I almost backed out but decided I didn't come all the way to Africa to stop there... so, I did it. Scared to death for what seemed to take forever to walk through. 7 planks connecting these huge trees. Took about 40 minutes to complete. Longest 40 minutes of my life. My knees were knocking for hours after-wards!

So many fond memories of this trip. So many new friends. So many eye opening experiences. It's such vast array of feelings for ten days! I am so blessed by Africa. And I cannot wait to see what God has in store next!

Fingernails.....

2011-08-31T15:01:00.001-06:00

I woke up this morning super early. Guess my body is still re-adjusting to the time change. A lot of things are re-adjusting to the change, including my brain.

My fingernails grew a lot in Africa. Must have been the moisture. In the dark hours of the morning I was clipping my fingernails and just had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. As I was trimming them down, there were little specks of dirt that were left over. And I was cleaning it away. Removing the remnants of where I have been. Now they are fresh and clean. And I find myself wishing that dirt was still there. I don't want the memory removed. I don't want the evidence gone. I don't want the visual reminder to vanish. My heart is still there.

More posts from Ghana....

What struck me today was the sheer volume of people who live in absolute destitution. Yes, I know you've heard it before. Starving people in Africa, right? My eyes are stinging from what they have witnessed. My senses are inundated with new information by the millisecond here and I am quickly becoming a different person because of their torment. Moms with babies/children strapped to their backs while they solicit cars on the road for goods they woke a 4am to make. Their eyes strain to see who we are as we drive by with our flashing photography and glances. At one point I stopped shooting pics all together because it simply felt intrusive. These people have nothing and I'm using my $500 camera to capture their suffering? Really?

Cindy, Jeanne, Al, and Fred, and I went to one of the HODEM churches in Tema today. Fred is a local business man here in Ghana, he owns a roofing business. He came to pick us up and drove us over an hour away to a little village where this Church exists in the midst of desolation and poverty. I felt myself becoming overwhelmed by the depravity and quite frankly the smell. You simply cannot express the smell in Africa. My virgin nose was not prepared to be violated so harshly.

I realize God was cracking my heart, one vessel at a time. This would be the first of many vessels. The worship was beautiful, as are the people. I must say I am very captivated by their chiseled features and beautiful, porcelain like skin. Just gorgeous. I am in awe. They sang and danced and sang some more. This little three year old boy was staring at me, of course now I am the one that stands out with my blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin. I turned to him and put my hand down to give him a high five, he gave me his cracker instead. I almost cried. This little boy who clung to his cracker just handed it over without hesitation to me, a perfect stranger. I gave it back to him and felt another vessel burst. He was fascinated with my camera so I took his picture and showed it to him. He couldn't understand. I'm not sure he has ever seen himself. So I took a photo with him and then showed him he was next to me and this was HIM. He looked so puzzled. And his feet. His sweet, precious feet. I fell in love with those feet instantly.

After service, Fred took us to a place to eat lunch... on this plate of food were these little red things, I thought they were tiny red peppers. They were peppers alright, hot peppers. Didn't find that one out until I ate a spoonful of them. My lunch mates got a good laugh out of my red face! Fred is a gentle giant. He quietly looked at me and said, "you are a very cautious person... I can see it." In his quiet Ghanaian manner, he relayed what I feel, cautious.

I can hardly explain what we are all going through. I know we are so far away from home, yet I don't really feel that far. In my mind I know it's a loooong way, and when I think about it I get a bit anxious. But then that perfect peace sets back in and I know God has me right where he wants me at just the perfect time. I just pray and ask Him to reveal His treasures to me as the days roll on. There are so many hidden treasures in this place. There are ant hills here that stand 5 feet tall. And apparently the superstition is that under those ant piles lies gold. But you have to get through the red ants that live in these 5 foot monsters to get to the gold. So they just stand there.. erected among inconceivable poverty.... untouched. How this is so like the treasures the Lord tells us are stored up for us in Heaven, if we just simply ask.

Matthew 13:44 The Kingdom of Heaven is like a hidden treasure that a man discovered hidden in a field.

My Feet

2011-08-29T19:21:00.000-06:00

We arrived safely back home today from Africa. It was the most amazing yet heart breaking 10 days of my life. I am forever changed. I wrote a lot during the trip but had no internet access so I have a handful of posts I wrote there and will publish over the next few weeks.

So many highlights and of course some times of pure heartache. We met the UN Ambassador to Ghana, he was on our plane ride to Africa. Sat right in front of us. Made ministry connections and look forward to building partnerships in the US with my Ghanaian friends. Saw World Vision in action. And Compassion International. More to come there.... Visited 7 Bush villages. Taught 260 women how to exercise. Met some amazing women that I will never forget. And most impactful, the children. So that is where I will begin. With the children. I wrote this post after a heart breaking day. My heart broke in a million pieces. Half of me is still out there with them. I will be back very soon. Before I left the country I made sure to make adoption connections. One little Starfish, right?

I want to tell you a story. The story of my feet. They are just like your feet. Covered by skin in my mothers womb as God watched them grow into the exact pattern He made, just for me. They are distinctly made to walk me through the life my Daddy wrote before the beginning of time. They graze the earth because I often have no shoes. They wouldn't know what to do if they had something preventing them from the harsh ground my Daddy made anyway, so I don't really mind. Besides, this is all my feet know.

My feet take me faithfully through each day. I often don't know what I will be eating, IF I will be eating, what pond or puddle I will drink from, what trash I will play hide and seek in, how many 1000's of footprints they will make as I travel with my mom for hours on desolate roads with loads of work on my head. And at night when I am exhausted from the footprints I have made, my feet stop right where they are. Shelter or not. No bed for them to rest in or covers for my mommy to tuck me into. I just sleep. On concrete or dust. On the floor I call my playground and bed, the one my Daddy made for me at the beginning of time.

There are hundreds of feet just like mine living with me. I am one of the lucky ones because I still have a mommy to pull thorns out when I stumble on my Daddy's ground. Some feet don't have mommies at all. They just make footprints and hope that someday, someone will notice them. Someone will follow the imprints they leave in the ground and rescue them into shelter. Human shelter at least. Footprints like to have fellow footprints.

I have hope for me feet because my Daddy tells me he has plans for them, plans to prosper them, to give them hope,and a future. So until my footprints are rescued, I will keep going. Because My Daddy tells me to.

OnStar!

2011-08-18T22:01:00.000-06:00

Classic! Just classic evening! It's almost 10pm and I leave for Ghana tomorrow bright and early. Tonight, however, was epic chaos. So, Tay had a softball game at Columbine tonight. Kicked butt! won by a ton. Flew down C470 to Chaparral HS for back to school night. Totally fun. Love her teachers, love her classes, love her friends! In all the to do stuff we forgot to eat... lunch and dinner. Went flying to grab dinner.... after waiting in line forever... dumped the food all over my car! Grrr! Knowing I still had to finish packing, eat, shower, sleep... we sped home. A little while back I got a new car, lots of electronics everywhere. And apparently OnStar. That I apparently "bumped". Thought nothing of it. Came inside the house frazzled to eat and get ready for the big trip! Well... apparently OnStar takes their job very seriously because Zach went to the garage and came running in the screaming, "mom... some dude is sending the police, fire, and rescue! He's yelling in your car!" I go running out and sure enough, OnStar guy was screaming... "mam, mam, can you hear me. Help is on the way!" No joke. I kinda laughed and said unless you know how to pack quickly for Africa, I'm not in need of your assistance. Note to self... don't touch the OnStar button!

This week has been so wonderful! I love being home! Just love it. I made breakfast for my kiddos before school, did laundry (yes, I enjoy it), had my best girlfriend over and made omelets for us, watched my sweet baby AJ, got to see my hubby all day long, Bible study on my back porch in the middle of the day! Perfect. Just perfect. I am so happy right where I am. If a year ago you would have asked me if I would be working with a ministry I would have laughed. Hard. But the Lord had a different plan. And I love His way. More on the ministry after Ghana!

Our mission in Ghana is multi-faceted. We will be assisting a local ministry during a womens conference entitled Hearing God in Your Everyday Life. Hundreds of women will be in attendance. We will be discussing many issues relating to women, including menopause. In Africa, the belief in evil spirits and witch doctors is a way of life. When women go into menopause, they believe they are being taken over by evil spirits (I know what you are gonna say, guys!), so they resort to witch doctors. And are often left by their husbands. So we educate them on what is actually happening in their bodies. We will also be administering de-wormer to the children and giving them vitamins, during VBS. My designated role is that of writer/reporter/photographer. And connecting/ministering to the women, building relationships. How exciting! On Wednesday, the leader has asked me to go along with her to a private dinner meeting with a local pastor (Ghanaian) who is looking to begin a new mission/ministry that will serve West Africa, A holistic ministry. The details are vague at this point, but with my background in health and the new ministry in the States...this connection is very exciting! I cannot wait! We are going to visit three bush villages, The Elmina Slave Castle on the Cape Coast, visit a few different churches, and much more.

As the social media guru for the trip, I am going to attempt to connect to wifi and Facebook/blogger. I am not confident in this ability, but will try. If you would like to be connected via Facebook send me a friend request; click here.

My prayer for our team;

Heavenly Father, I pray for protection over my team; of our physical bodies and spiritual security. Please guide our every step as we seek to build relationships with these beautiful women who you have so perfectly created. Father, I am so excited to meet the women you have already knit into the fabric of my soul. I know you created these relationships in the heavenly's long ago and now it is time for Your work to be manifested. I pray for an open heart, a humble spirit, open eyes, and Your presence in every moment. Break my heart, Father, for what breaks Yours.

See you soon friends!

Cracking Up

2011-08-16T11:25:00.001-06:00

What a great morning! I absolutely love that I am home now to make french toast for my babies before school and be a mommy. Yes, even teenagers need their mommas. Life is so much less complicated from this position. Not leaving the house to go to work has it's benefits! Many, many benefits! God will always provide the necessary tools to accomplish what He asks of us, always.

It's a very strange stance to be in; waiting to crack apart. I know through others experiences and what My Father has been showing me, that my heart is about to be split wide open when my feet first stand on African soil. The smell, the sight, the sounds, the people, the culture, the food! My brain can't even comprehend where my body is going, but that's how my Father wants it. I'm not meant to "get it". This week has been emotional from the get go. Tears within seconds of Church starting during worship, tears as I think of the people who are supporting me, tears as I go to sleep, tears as I consider my life is changing in every aspect... as of right now, it has taken a sharp turn to a brand new street. And that street is going to lead to a totally different destination than I had ever imagined. The Lords redemptive power leaves me in indescribable awe. Having a cracked heart and spirit is a difficult yet beautiful thing. Because it puts you the posture He so desires. I am so frantic to stay on the road he calls "His will" for my life that I have become maniacal about seeking wholeness in Christ. His sanctification through and through with total abandon, no matter what the future holds. Committed and cracked up.

Thank you Lord for giving me the gift of so many things, the most important being eternal life through Christ Jesus.

Have I told you how much I love you miss April?!?! Your spirit lifts me up!

African dance prep! Cracking up in a different way...

my s'more is bigger than your s'more!

don't ask...

Backyard worship!

Mission Family!

One more post then off to Africa on Friday! Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and provision. I am so excited to do your work.

Matthew 6:19-20 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

Mustard... Seed....

2011-08-12T22:25:00.000-06:00

I'm not a big fan of condiments. Salt and pepper do just fine for me! I'm a fairly simple individual. This week, however, I was challenged to think about mustard.... the seed that is.

Have you ever asked God to reveal to you where you are withholding from Him? Where you maybe don't completely trust Him. It's a scary thing to admit. But the thing is He already knows, it's you and me that are late to the party. James and I have been praying heavily about this for a while and I do believe God has revealed just that. So this week, I jumped off the cliff into pure trust, with the faith of a mustard seed.

Today was my last day of work as I get ready to leave for Africa. The time has come to focus on what God has called me to do, and not worry about how it's all gonna work. It's so easy for us to create a cloud of words and worry over our lives. It's clutter. Clutter that needs to be cleared out so God can do reveal His plan. I promise there is no greater control freak than me, or used to be I should say. But there is so much freedom in letting go and letting God. As much as I love to write, the BIG story entitled My Life has already been written. If I would just be quiet long enough to read it.

A friend of mine (a few actually) have been challenging me to examine my "faith" in Gods plan for my life. At first I kinda laughed. I feel very faithful. But my friend challenged that... he actually called me Thomas! Noell Thomas Blevins. Nice, right? But in all actuality, he was correct. Hanging on to what was easy and comfortable is not what I have been called to do. I'm ready.

Isaiah 45:2-5
This is what the Lord says: “I will go before you, Cyrus, and level the mountains. I will smash down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness—secret riches.
I will do this so you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name.
“And why have I called you for this work?
Why did I call you by name when you did not know me?
It is for the sake of Jacob my servant, Israel my chosen one.
I am the Lord; there is no other God.
I have equipped you for battle,
though you don’t even know me."

Isaiah 45:9-13
What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator.

Does a clay pot argue with its maker?
Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’
How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father, ‘Why was I born?’or if it said to its mother,‘Why did you make me this way?’”
This is what the Lord says—the Holy One of Israel and your Creator:
“Do you question what I do for my children?
Do you give me orders about the work of my hands?
I am the one who made the earth and created people to live on it.
With my hands I stretched out the heavens.
All the stars are at my command.
I will raise up Cyrus to fulfill my righteous purpose, and I will guide his actions.
He will restore my city and free my captive people—without seeking a reward!
I, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, have spoken!”

It's time to start liking mustard! I wonder if there's mustard in Africa? 7 days left!

T-Minus 10!

2011-08-07T22:18:00.000-06:00

T-minus 10 days until we leave for AFRICA! I am becoming so dang excited! The weeks and weekends seem to be slipping by; time is a precious commodity. It was a spectacular weekend filled with family, friends, and lots of worship. James and I took the kids "on base" this weekend to do a little shopping military style! It's been so long since J was active duty and to see the men and women in uniform brought back a flood of memories. I have a deep appreciation for the sacrifice these families give so that we can have the freedoms we do! Ok, no more soap box...

I have SO much to do! For lunches, so far I have 12 mini bags of Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies and 8 individual servings of peanut butter! I must have been hungry during that trip! Clearly I cannot eat chocolate chip cookies dipped in PB for 10 days, maybe?!?! There is also a strict dress code for this trip; long skirts to the floor and t-shirts that come to the middle of your bicep. Do you know how hard that is to find? It's insane! And shoes? No flip flops. Are you eating? If so, put down your food for a sec. It is strongly suggested that we wear "whole covering" shoes because the dirt is used as a potty. Slight sanitary issue! I have been on a shoe and t-shirt hunt for weeks now! So many people ask me what I had to do to get prepared from a practicality stand point. So here it is friends;

Prayer.. tons and tons of prayer!
Raise money! My friends were so generous that I have raised an EXTRA $1000 that is going directly to the ministry in Accra. Praise God!
Shots! Lots and lots of shots; yellow fever, typhoid, hep A, hep B, tetanus, meningitis, and polio! And tonight I start taking the oral anti-malaria pills! Apparently these an make you a bit crazy, dreams all over the place. Perfect!
Clothing. It's no surprise my Anne Taylor summer wardrobe and high heals are not suitable. Lots of shopping trips for clothing. 22 t-shirts later... I think I'm good to go!
Many nights spent with my TEAM. Planning. praying, tearing up, wiping tears, laughing, eating pizza, PRAYING, petitioning, doing spiritual gifts assessments, personality testing, and so much more!
Making VBS bags at Art for the Nations.
Planning for my family while I am gone. I'm going to miss Tays early season of softball and Zachs football. Time is like I running hour glass these days. I wish we could just put the brakes on and slooooow down. I'm sure the tears will start flowing more frequently and longer as time to go approaches.

We were at Church today with some very sweet friends and their sweet adopted baby boy. I'll call her my African mission friend! Living in Uganda as a missionary for three years, she can truly understand where I am going. She saw flat out miracles happen while she lived there. A story for another day, but truly amazing. During our prayer time I got this vision of what I am about to embark on. People keep asking my if I am nervous, and truly I am not. The Lord has sealed my fears away in His loving arms. How can I be afraid when I have Jesus as my travel companion? It's not possible. Friends, this is so completely God. When I say I hate to fly, I am not kidding. I'm a nail biter. And I have never been on a mission trip or off of the continent. And I have no fear. None. Zero. Pure peace. And not knowing what job I am coming home to? No fear. Jesus is navigating my waters for me and I have not a shred of doubt, not one. I feel like I am getting to spend two weeks in His arms, just Him and me. Totally reliant on Him and open to what He has planned for me to learn. J and I pray everyday about the relationships He has formed in the spiritual realm that are about to be revealed in the physical world. I know there is a woman, or a few, that is meant for my eyes and heart. A special relationship created in the heavenly's, yet to be revealed.

My prayer tonight;

Heavenly Father. Your ways are so different than my ways and Your thoughts far above my thoughts. Thank You for loving me with a Fathers strict yet loving hand. I pray my steps are anointed by Your will for my life before my foot strikes the ground. May the path I walk be lit so brightly with Your perfect Light that it drowns out the dark from every corner. Father, the power that raised Your Son from the grave is the same Power You have given me. I call upon that power to keep my path straight and mind pure from anything that is not of You. Thank You for everything that has brought me to this place of ruthless trust in You. In Jesus name, Amen!

Sifting

2011-08-03T23:08:00.000-06:00

I cannot go to sleep without writing this. This post is swirling around in my mind like a bit of a spiritual hurricane. Bear with me while I attempt to put into words what is so effecting my life and the life of those around me.

Spiritual warfare. It's alive. It's real. God has a plan for each of us, a plan of prosperity and hope. But friends, satan has a plan too. A plan to kill and destroy. Particularly those who are believers. That should be no surprise. Yes, people who are "Godly" people get caught in this trap too. Satan is a serpent, he is prowling the earth looking for people to devour. He strikes when you are least expecting it. And by the time it happens, you are left wondering what the heck just happened. Did you know satan tailors each persons temptation to fit them just right? He methodically and carefully watches and waits for the perfect time to go in for the kill. I could go into much further detail but I have a greater point to make.

Think about this. When you love God and except Him as your Lord and Savior the Holy Spirit then resides inside of you. He is IN you. Satan cannot live IN you but he wants to. He wants so badly to thwart you off course, to blind you from God, to seal your ears to the truth, to conceal your vision from the love of Jesus. Yes, even Godly people suffer greatly from this type of attack. For the enemy, they are the best targets! Because they are the biggest threats to his need for control. The enemy's favorite place to attack is the flesh. Why? Because he burns you like fire. If he cannot live in you, he will burn your flesh to try to get to your core. Like a burn victim, the flesh singes and creates an open wound. A sin of the flesh cuts the deepest. And like a burn victim, healing is a process and takes time. As a believer, once you have repented and been forgiven, God is done with it. It doesn't exist anymore. But the burn victim still feels it. It takes time for Jesus to birth you new skin. It is not an event, but a process. Skin just doesn't form, it grows. And when it grows back, it comes back tougher and stronger with the seal and armor of God. And don't forget, God allows these attacks to occur. If He sees something that needs a "sifting" in your life; have no doubt... He will sift.

So, to present day... Jesus is working in me like CRAZY! Africa is just 2 weeks away. And I am being tested like mad! And I am fully aware of it. I unknowingly hired 6 Christians recently. In the past 3 months. We pray in the yoga room everyday. We support each other personally and emotionally. I love it. True friends. Today was such a breakthrough day. We are facing things that if I wrote them out you would probably not believe it. That crazy. I spent the entire morning with my attorney plotting my course of action... if that tells you anything. And after one more bombshell this afternoon.. I just had to start laughing. It's just like, ok satan... Bring It! All happening as I am leaving for Africa. No coincidence there. That's for sure.

Yes, I have had moments where I shut the door to my office and cry and pray for protection over my work flock. But I am committed to being the peace maker and voice of calm. Late today, one of my staff came in and asked if she could talk to me. She sat down and started telling me some very heavy things. She lived in Uganda for 3 years as a missionary in an orphanage. She, like me, like most of us... has had her own struggles with decisions she has made in her past. We all have pot holes. We all have areas where the Lord needed to "sift" us. She proceeded to tell me that when I hired her, she accepted because the Lord told her she needed to work with me. Not anything else. She does not need to work. But she said she chose to work here because of me. She is such a deeply, wonderfully, loving, special woman. She loves Jesus like crazy. And so do I. She wanted to encourage me to keep going for God. She (and everyone else) sees the attack we are under. And it is massive friends. Absolutely massive. We prayed HARD HARD HARD for each other. The point was this; she loves the people of Africa. She cried as we talked. I cried. She feels like somehow she is going with me. She feels inspired by my tenacity for Christ and His plan for me there. She has lost some tenacity in the past few years, but I know as we pray together it is coming back. She is mad that I am being totally misseled at as I prepare to go, but that's just it.... I will go. Regardless. She said I inspire her? She TOTALLY inspires me! She lived a life of sacrifice for years in Africa, experienced things I cannot even envision, and is still standing. I praise God for merging our lives.

Why do I share this? Because Godly people can and do get trapped by satan. We need to be there for each other and support each other. Pray for each other. Help keep each other on our guard. And being "sifted" is actually a wonderful gift. I NEVER would have gone to Africa if it weren't for my "sifting". I NEVER would be working with a new ministry if I had not been "sifted". I NEVER would have seen the gift in my friends and understood grace like I do if it weren't for my "sifting". And heck, maybe this woman would have never crossed my path and accepted the job if I hadn't been "sifted" too. So many blessings mixed in with this new forming skin. To be able to share my new skin process with another to encourage and intercede is a gift.... Know the Word, friends, and use it as a Sword. Gods Word IS your weapon in this battle.

Gods love note to us; "Listen daughter, I know this is horribly painful, but something much bigger than you know is at stake here. You are a truly righteous daughter in an unrighteous world. Satan thinks you'll crumble if I draw back some of your protection and blessing. I want him to see that you won't. So, hard as it is, you stand firm! All the hosts of heaven are rooting for you, and the unholy hosts of hell are jeering at you. Win a big one for the team, my daughter!"

Thanks A. I love you.

Laughter and Sore Thumbs?

2011-07-31T21:36:00.001-06:00

I had to take some Advil to write this post. No, not because of my knee, hips, or back.... my thumbs. Yes, you read that correctly. My thumbs are so sore. I have taken up a new hobby, boxing. I love it. My boxing instructor is a rock star. She is one tough chick. I LOVE pouring sweat through the punches and jabs. After Saturdays workout my knuckles were actually bruised. The athlete in me that lay dormant for a couple of years (while on the operating table) is coming back, this time with gloves on! Today, however.. my thumbs are killing me! .....

As I peer into the coming weeks and months I feel like a kid at Christmas. Waiting to see what's under all of the wrapping paper of those gifts waiting under the tree. With so much "up in the air" in my life right now, the control freak in me says I should be freaking out. But the Believer in me says it's all gonna be ok. Without a shadow of a doubt, it's all going to work out for the good.

James and I were having dinner Friday night with friends, they have both served on missions (one in Africa for three years), she said she doesn't think I'll even come back to work after this trip (she now works at my gym). In fact, she said I'll probably send for the kids and James (and my heels). Not sure about that one But one thing is for certain, our lives are shifting and things are changing. I wonder if there's boxing in Africa? Anyway, we laughed so hard at dinner I thought we might get kicked out of the restaurant. Then after Church on Sunday we had lunch together and she gave me some things I didn't even consider necessary... a headlamp! For those after dark bathroom stops! I cannot believe this is really happening! Thanks April! Love you girl! Your heart inspires me!

The work I am doing with Today Ministries has been so exciting and such a learning experience. The ministry consists of three distinct parts. Lead Today exists to serve by shaping character in the lives of leaders and organizations. This Tuesday evening we are hosting a Strengths Based Leadership Workshop in Denver, led by Pastor Jim Piper. Follow the link for more info or to register. The Bridge is another leg of this ministry. The Bridge is a non-institutional approach to building Christian fellowship based on the teachings and character of Jesus Christ. We meet every other Saturday evening for discussion, prayer, community, and food! This past Saturday was a blast! Talking and laughing until midnight! Total blast. Join us anytime! Then there's TrustinGod! Running the Internet ministry has been so awesome! Connecting with local, nationwide, and worldwide Christians and non-Christians alike. The Lord is the Author of this entire divine connection and I give Him all of the glory. Thank you Jesus for your gifts.

I often get the question what are you planning on "doing" in Africa? What are you "teaching?" I am quick to re-direct that statement. I am totally positive that I am the student in this equation. There is nothing I can give the Ghanaian women other than fellowship and love. My agenda consists of one word; Jesus. It's very simple. Love them and be loved by them. Share compassion and create life long bonds. I so desire to see God through their eyes. I understand from friends who have been there that God is so bold and present. That worship is like non-other on this earth. We will be participating in a tribal revival; I can't even imagine what that is going to look like! We will also be visiting one of the worlds oldest Slave Castles, Elmina Castle on the Cape Coast. This is an actual picture of the Castle. Elmina Castle was founded in 1482 by the Portugese to protect the Gold Coast they discovered in 1471. It was completed in 1486. They called the castle São Jorge da Mina (St. George of the Mines). From the castle the Portugese carried out the trade in gold, ivory and slaves with the local tribes. The castle is the oldest European building in Africa below the Sahara.

My brain can hardly grasp that in 18 days I will be in Africa. I know God will reveal Himself in ways I cannot even fathom. It's a very strange feeling being scared and secure at the same time. To think that 15 years ago I was terrified to anywhere alone, paralyzed by fear and the unknown. Living on anti-anxiety medication. To now, leaving everything familiar to go where I have no comfort zone except in the arms of my God. His redeeming and healing Power is beyond my comprehension.

Well, time for bed! Got a "two a day" tomorrow.. need to ice my thumbs... Have a blessed week friends!

Ruthless Hurdles

2011-07-27T15:33:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting in my office a bit winded from the whirling of my crazy life. Feet up, coffee next to the key board, the gym buzzing in the background. Bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep that is called my life. A while back I hired this gal who has turned out to be just a real gem! She loves Jesus and has the biggest heart with the biggest sense of humor. She just cracks me up on a daily basis. Never a dull moment with this one. We often take afternoon walks... usually to Starbucks... it's great to have someone to pray with in the middle of the day! She is my long lost sister for sure. Although she's 5'10 and I'm a mere 5'1. I digress...

We are going through major changes at work...BIG changes. And the stress is immense. And the change officially starts the week I leave for Africa. And I'm supposed to be the new fully equipped leader. With all the tools I have ever dreamt of! It's really what I have been working toward for years now. So exciting... and so scary. And the new ministry I am working for. I am so loving my role and the people. I am blessed and exhausted all at the same time. Yesterday, my tires left the driveway at 7:30am and didn't return until 10:15pm. Too tired to think. Too tired to eat. But loving it. I have no idea where God is taking me but I am fully trusting. No question. No wavering. Ruthless Trust.

She often has the little terms I have now affectionately named Lorraine"isms" (Lolo).. she is hysterical. We were out and about today and were talking about all the craziness happening around us. And Africa. And the new ministry. And the pending acquisition and my role. How I plan to proceed with this new role. Did I mention Africa? And that the timing could not be worse and I am going no matter what. She breaks out into prayer right there... "Father, her legs are so short and the hurdles are so tall... Noell- Go under them! Finish the race... " I almost choked on my salad. She always knows what to say! Thanks Lolo.

We leave for Africa in 24 days and time is ticking faster than I comprehend. My days are running together at this point and at times I have to remind myself to take a breath. It's wonderfully chaotic! I am in love with the wonders of what the Lord is doing on a daily basis. I have so much to do and if I thought too much I would probably have a nervous break down. Last week we decided as a team that we would be supplying our own lunches and food in Africa. Yes, you read that correctly. We are bringing our own lunches and snacks. I have never looked at Costco through this lens before.... imperishable food that will be healthy.....that can go in my backpack.... in the sun.... ... and doesn't require "equipment" to eat....and can make it to Africa. Yep, I have a lot to do. Suggestions?

"Often trust begins on the far side of despair. When all human resources are exhausted, when the craving for reassurances is stifled, when we forgo control, when we cease trying to manipulate God and demystify Mystery, then- at our wits' end- trust happens within us, and the untainted cry, "Abba, into Your hands I commend my spirit," surges from your heart."
Brennan Manning, Ruthless Trust

While he was still speaking!

2011-07-23T10:52:00.000-06:00

Each morning; tired or not, sick or well, on vacation or at home.... I wake before the sun to study and pray. I need these hours to set myself in position for the day. To become spiritually dressed in my Armor of God. Would you walk out of your house without pants on? Don't answer that..... For me, that time is required. Just like pants! And mascara. :-) But far above those things, however... I do not go anywhere without that time with my Father first.

I am currently in a study on spiritual warfare. It is fascinating. There is no way I could discuss everything I have learned in a single blog entry, but today I was given a revelation that I wanted to share. First, satans primary target is not those who are already deceived or lulled into a complacent, apathetic lifestyle. Such people are no threat to his kingdom. They are his pawns. Rather, it is the righteous, the zealous who concern him (excerpt from Lord Is It Warfare, Teach me to Stand). It is no surprise to me that because I have given so much NEW territory over to God in my life, the spiritual attack is non-stop. He has territory He has never occupied before, and the enemy just hates that. The change that is occurring in my life is palpable. Back to the revelation God gave to me... I was reading Job again and the repetition of While he was speaking suddenly lept into my understanding like never before. When the Lord GAVE PERMISSION to the enemy to test Job, the attack began and did not relent. He lost everything (animals, his children, his wealth, his crops, his servants) in ONE DAY. Everything except his wife. It was an onslaught. Messengers came one by one to tell Job of the destruction... while one was speaking, another came with more bad news. And furthermore, God allows this opposition to occur. He allows the test to occur. And there is absolutely no doubt that that is what is happening in my life. There is shifting of focus, new jobs, big decisions to be made about my future, and so much more. And with each advancement, there are direct attacks that accompany. I am learning quickly how to respond to each of these dragons. By truth, Gods word, and speaking it out loud! Stand firm and commit to rightful thinking. And for me, giving thanks constantly.

I have the great blessing of having an amazing spiritual leader who has helped guide me through a very difficult time in my life. A period where confusion and question filled my mind. Where a kind of pain existed that I didn't know was possible. She helped me have a very deep appreciation for truth. She called me yesterday morning on my way to work with me heavy on her mind. We had met a few days prior and were discussing this spiritual warfare that has been occurring without ceasing. She said she was awake until 4am praying for me, interceding for me. The Lord put a heavy burden on her to pray for me. It is so precious that I have people like that in my life. God makes no mistakes. That is for sure. We talked for a while and she does what she always does.... encouraged me to keep moving and remain focused on Gods word. The truth. I love her so much, she is a gift for sure.

That very day, Jesus and I were talking about one of the dragons I am dealing with and He said to me... sweetie, you are not loving like I have called you to love. I argued back. But but but.... this is sooooo wrong and I have tried! Really I have! How many times do I try before I give up? And I immediately hear "7 times seventy times. That's how many. Do it again. " And I refute one more time... but it hurts and I'm tired of being persecuted. And I hear, "it hurts Me too... I understand. Do it anyway because you love Me."

I eagerly submitted. Ok, I will do it, again. I must forgive. I must love. I must turn the other cheek. Regardless of what my flesh wants to do. So I sat and had a difficult conversation and apologized for not loving like I am supposed to love. A wise friend told me the other day that everything we do is a ministry. No matter where we are. And this was an opportunity to show Christ like love to someone who doesn't know my Jesus. And it was simply amazing. She may not know Jesus personally like I do, but she now sees that as His ambassador, love and peace are my priority... at all costs. I don't need to be right with people, I need to be right with Jesus. I know this fight is not over by any means, but I have slayed one more dragon and that makes God bigger than my circumstances. As soon as that conversation was over, I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit with a deep sense of love and humility.

Consider this; if satan were to stand before the Lord right now, would your character be such that God would boast of you to him? And if satan were to throw down the gauntlet and challenge your motives for serving God, could God pick up that gauntlet in confidence? Like Job?

Faithbook

2011-07-18T21:53:00.000-06:00

I hands down love love love having teenagers! God may not have equipped me for VBS, but He definitely equipped me for teens! I took my baby girl and her best friends shopping at King Soopers for a late summer night ice cream Sunday making extravaganza. Have you ever tried walking through the grocery store with 4 sixteen year olds? Fun! Notice everything in the cart is sugar packed, and I needed a toothbrush. Kind of ironic so we took a pic! It was a sugar fest at the Blevins for sure! (Yes, that's my toothbrush on top of the sugar bowls).

Tays friends call me their Facebook mommy. Their second mommy as it were. I love having them all over and hanging out where I can SEE them! We have this sweet little friendship, and I love to be the voice of reason for them. Having teenagers, you have to get on their level to get in their heads. Everyday I send them scripture passages on Facebook. I call it FAITHBOOK. It's actually quite interesting to see what kids say about my postings.

God certainly gives each of us specific gifts. And He intends those gifts to be used for His purposes. To further His Kingdom and bring Him honor and glory. In my previous post I explained that I was placed in the VBS group for the upcoming mission trip to Ghana. While knowing it was not my strong suit, I accepted that God knew what He was doing and if He wanted in VBS.. so be it. I accepted it happily. Well.... He blew my socks off again with rich favor. While at Art for the Nations on Friday, my team leader for Ghana pulled me aside and said she felt that I would be better suited in a hybrid role for the trip; Social Networker and blogger! Take pictures, interact with the women and learn about their stories. Share the love of God with them. Share my testimony. And then write about it!!!! I could have done back flips had it not been for my aging back. God is so good. I never in a million years thought I would be going to Africa to share the love of Jesus... blog.... connect.... tell a tale in pictures..... and just LOVE. I am humbly honored. A close friend of mine once told me, if it makes sense Noell... it's probably you leading the reins. Typically when it makes no sense but just works, it's God.

Isaiah 55:8-9

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

I am loving my new role with Today Ministries! Faithbooking and blogging! I intend to write my first manifesto for TrustinGod.com after I return from Africa. I know the Lord will provide the content and inspiration for the writing. I am so excited to see what God plans to reveal to me during this trip.

Become Facebook friends with TrustinGod Here!

In the Beehive

2011-07-14T21:05:00.000-06:00

I took my child care manager to the craft store today to get...... well, stuff for crafts. As we were walking up to the door she laughed as I seemed to be getting hives from the thought of having to help her find "crafty" supplies. I am not, I repeat not, crafty. At all. Not my gift shall we say. But that's why I hired her! I do, however, have this cool app on my Ipad that I am unveiling in this post. Doddle Buddy! This is my attempt at being a part of the art inclined world.... don't mock.

This has been a very long week. Tons and tons of opportunities for growth. When you work with many different personalities, peace can be hard to come by. And when spiritual warfare is alive in your workplace... very difficult. Combine that with some personal stress and the stress of those I care about who are hurting... not a pretty picture. And I'm working 10-11 hour days. Getting ready for Africa. Raising two teenagers. This week has been a test from beginning to end. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. But I am so much better equipped to pass this test than I used to be. I learned how to pass these tests. I learned by epically failing. I was never a good test taker.

There are three methods to failing Gods tests in life. There's the go around method. Where God allows opposition and you go around it thinking you made it and them BAM! You hit an even bigger obstacle than before! He makes it BIGGER because you didn't listen the first time. Then there's the total avoidance method. The test comes and you just turn and run. Burying your head in the sand. Can you say ostrich? Then there's the I think I hear you God but just in case I'm going to make up my own little test to test your test. Instead of relying on what we THINK God is telling us we turn it into a test to test Him.

Then there's the Transformational Test. The one where you run right into opposition and allow it to overwhelm you. Like being sucked into a beehive where you can't escape. That's the kind of test where God transforms us. Where we are tamed by Him. Where if we are willing, He teaches us His ways. He speaks truth into you. The person who went in is NOT the same person who came out. God breaks us down into tiny particles and rebuilds us in His grand splendor. He wants to be glorified by our restoration into His obedient, trusting child. That is real transformation. The person who goes in is not the person who comes out.

So although my week was filled with tests on every corner, I graduated from the school of Gods hard knocks and have a few spiritual tricks up my sleeve that got me through just fine. And I look back at what was presented to me and am so grateful that He sucked me into His beehive and taught me how to survive such adversity. I believe He is teaching me heavy things right now in preparation for His great plan for my life. And I am excited and thankful for my future in His hands.

Tomorrow I am going with my mission partners to Art for the Nations. This is non-profit organization that gives bags of art supplies to missionaries (woa... I'm a missionary!!!!) serving all over the world. We will use these art projects during VBS. We will be serving possible up to 400 women and 500 children. Hard to even imagine what that will look like! We leave for Ghana in 35 days!

An excerpt from Ruthless Trust, "Lets not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and TRUST that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God."

Thank you Jesus for teaching me when I was in the beehive.

Making it Fit......

2011-07-11T20:56:00.001-06:00

I leave for Africa in 38 days. I cannot believe it. I am sooooooooooo excited. Our mission is to build relationships with the women and children at HODEM (Hour of Deliverance Evangelical Ministry), teach about the power of the Holy Spirit in everyday life, distribute Bibles (to some for the very first time), provide medical supplies and services, and assist in the ongoing construction of the girls' vocational school. God is going to do amazing work through us, in us, and around us and I am beyond excited!

I look at my life like this puzzle. A lot of pieces flying around. Some with torn up corners, some with blazing colors, some with missing fragments, and many perfectly waiting to be put into place. One of the most significant pieces of my walk with God is trust. It is not natural for me to trust. Particularly when it's something I cannot see. I am a scientist at heart, literally. With a BA in Exercise Physiology, I instinctively want things to make sense and add up. Can you image the angst I can create for myself! Wild right? I want that puzzle in one piece right now!

As I make the shift into my new role with Today Ministries as Director of Outreach and Social Media, I am becoming more and more aware that so many of us struggle with the same questions. The whys and hows of the intangible. As I bury myself deeper into Jesus and leave me behind, I realize that the ultimate answer to this question is to believe. Ruthless Trust. That His way is always the better way. That He has plans of prosperity for each of us who love and accept Him. That He is always in control, always. That He never leaves or abandons us. That He is merciful when you ask for forgiveness. That He has already laid the path, there is no need to worry. He knew your success and failures in life before you succeeded or failed. He created your puzzle. He is just looking for us to trust Him to put it together. When we try to make a piece fit, it falls apart. When He puts it there... it fits like a glove.

I heard the most powerful sermon this weekend and so I am going to share the concept; courtesy of Peter Warren.

6 Principles of The Battle

God is always with you.

Deur 31:6 be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.

The battle has already been won in the heavenly's

Joshua 6:2 but the Lord said to Joshua, "I have given you Jericho, its King, and all its strong warriors."

God is requiring YOUR involvement

Joshua 5:13-14 when Joshua was near the town of Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a sword. Joshua went up to him and demanded, "are you a friend or foe?" "neither one" he replied. "I am the commander of the Lords army." At this, Joshua fell with his face to the ground in reverence. "I am at your command." Joshua said. "what do you want your servant to do?"

You can't use the same old strategy because it worked last time. Rely on God, not a formula (my personal fav!!)

Joshua 9:14 so the Israelites examined their food, but they did not consult the Lord.

You must seek the Lord. Do exactly what He says.

Joshua 6:3-4 you and your fighting men should march around the town once a day for six days. Seven priests will walk ahead of the Ark, each carrying a rams horn. On the seventh day you are to march around the town seven times, with the priests blowing the horns. When you hear the priests give one long last blow on the rams horns, have All the people shout as loud as they can. The walls of the town will collapse, and the people can charge straight into the town. (Seems pretty extravagant to me!!! But He had a purpose)

God is probably allowing opposition to make you strong, to teach you how to fight. To be His warrior.

Judges 3:1-2 these are the nations that the Lord left in the land to test those Israelites who had not experienced the wars of Canaan. He did this to teach warfare to the generations of Israelites who had no experience in battle.

I am learning to be a patient, reflective, prayerful, positive beyond question believer that my puzzle will come together just as God wants it to, as long as I stay out of the way! Mark 11:23-24 but you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you've received it, it will be yours.

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Ruthless Trust

2011-07-09T22:03:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had the feeling that something inside of you was about to erupt? Or have you ever actually felt change, as if you could takes its pulse. To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is doing something so powerful in you that are ruthlessly clinging to His promises. That you trust His ways even when it may look like you're a fool to the outside world? When grace and mercy become more important than being heard and understood?

I was having a conversation the other day with a very wise friend. I asked her if she had ever felt as if she was on an island by herself? She laughed and responded yes sweetie... except I was in the desert. I guess I invision an island becuase I leave for Africa in August! No desert where I'm headed! She said being in the desert is a blessing! God does His work in the desert! One of my daily verses is Isaih 43:18-19 “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

She taught me how important it is to thank God in advance for the great things He has done and is going to do in my life. I've had a few of months of practice now and it really, truly has changed my thinking and trust in God. On my island (desert), I thank Him constantly. When big decisions are on my plate, I thank Him. When someone is unkind, I thank Him. When I am presented with an opportunity for growth, I thank Him. When my day seems to be going better than perfect, I get on my hands and knees and thank Him. When my heart feels heavy, I thank Him. When I see someone crying, I start crying.... and thank Him. God wants us to have a grateful heart, always.

It is said that in Africa there is a fruit called the “taste berry”. This amazing fruit alters human taste buds to the point that everything eaten after the taste berry seems good and sweet. Gratitude is the “taste berry” of the Christian life, producing contentment and a sweetness in life that flows from a grateful heart. Gratitude is not a feeling but rather a choice of our will and leaves little room for discouragement or discontent. “No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NLT)

My heart is swelling with emotion and love as God prepares me for Africa. There is no fear. There is no anxiety. Just peace and excitement at what He has planned for me. One of my staff members recently came back to the US from Uganda where she worked in an orphange for 3 years. We spent time together last week talking about how God is so alive in Africa. Her eyes welled up with tears as she told me how worship and praise is like no other. They simply love the Lord. They depend on Him for life. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose by relying on Him. And in a stragne way I can relate to their feeing. Just for different reaons. Yes, I have a job, car, house, family. It certainly is not an apples to apples comparrison. But like them, I have laid in the dirt, face down, tears making mud under me... praying for His presence and desperately seeking His peace.

So the way I see it... I have more in common with the people I am about to serve than not. Our differences may be visible, but our love for a God that we have yet to meet is the same.

The Ant

2011-07-02T15:37:00.000-06:00

When James and I were on a walk today (it was a million degrees and I cannot find my sunglasses...grrr!), I saw this little ant carrying this giant thing. So I knelt down to peek and what this little dude was doing. This tiny ant was carrying some big, dead bug. It was dragging this bug over half it's size all the way across the path to the safety of it's nest (or wherever ants hang out). James was shaking his head at me as I watched the ant and cheered for it like his own personal cheerleader. When I got home I googled the ant to discover that it has the strength to carry 50 times it's own weight! If I carried over 50 times my own weight that'd be.... well, lets just leave it at a lot!

I used to feel just like that ant. Like I had to carry the weight of my world and the world of those around me on my shoulders. It's almost funny, I used to think being a people pleaser was a good trait to posses. Not that it's bad to want to please others, but to be more concerned about how others view me versus how my Father sees me led me down a dead end path. As a recovering people pleaser, I now see the great freedom in making sure my footsteps are guarded and lit by His will and desire for me over any thing else. Once I step out of His will, I'm doomed. It's a dead end. I am still a doer. I still can be relied upon to get the job done, well. I am still a type A personality. But I am learning to temper that type A, control freak, do it all, carry 50 times my weight side of me. I rarely answer a question anymore on the spot (big questions anyway). I always request some time to think about it... when in reality that is code for I need to talk to my Father first. He carries my weight these days. And I am such a different person because of it. Once over concerned, over anxious, over scheduled, over thinking... Now, I just pray and wait with expectation that His plan for me is to prosper me, no matter what. Once you truly believe, it is truly that simple.

One of my favorite books, A Praying Life, puts it like this; We become anxious when we take a God like stance. occupying ourselves with things too great for us. We return to sanity by becoming like little children, resting on our mothers.

While we may not see God in skin and bones, He is there. He wants us to come to Him continually, in all circumstances, in expectation and praise. The posture He desires from us when we come to him is one of a child; full of expectation, belief, helplessness, love, brokenness, humility, in need and unceasingly. To continually seek Him.

As I reflect on the awesomeness of what God is doing in my life I just shake my head and often cry. It's simply incredible. All of the blessings I see from my family to a new job I LOVE to serving Him in Africa... it's unspeakable. I whisper all day long I trust you, thank you.

Check out Today Ministries on Facebook and at TrustinGod.com

Fingerprints

2011-06-27T19:54:00.000-06:00

Fingerprints. The identifiable prints of an infinite God. A God that is so overwhelmingly merciful and present. It used to be so difficult for me to see those fingerprints. As if they they were once smudged and smeared and therefore not discernible. But what I have come to understand is that God is available to each of us, we are in charge of how much of Him we experience. It's a direct correlation relationship. The more you invest in Him and allow Him to permeate your life, the more you see of Him.

I am abundantly blessed by His fingerprints I saw on the faces of people I love and who are supporting me in following Gods call for me in Africa. I can't even find the words to express my gratitude for each of you.

From Jesus Calling;
This is a time of abundance in your life. Your cup runneth over with blessings. After plodding up hill for many weeks, you are now traipsing through lush meadows drenched in warm sunshine. I want you to enjoy to the full this time of ease and refreshment. I delight in providing it for you.
Sometimes my children hesitate to receive my good gifts with open hands. Feelings of false guilt creep in, telling them they don't deserve to be so richly blessed. This is nonsense thinking, because no one deserves anything from Me. My Kingdom is not about earning and deserving; it's about believing and receiving.
When a child of Mine balks at accepting My gifts, I am deeply grieved. When you receive My abundant blessings with a grateful heart, I rejoice. My pleasure in giving and your pleasure in receiving flow together in joyous harmony.

Psalm 23:5, John 3:16, Luke 11:9-10, Romans 8:32

A special thank you to Larry Herz, Owner of Seven 30 South, for hosting this dinner and donating ALL of the proceeds to this Africa Mission! You rock Larry! Now give me 100 push ups (just kidding...kinda)!

Beatitudes and Obedience

2011-06-21T22:04:00.000-06:00

Life is moving at a dizzying pace. My 7lb 6oz baby girl has officially turned 16. I'm sad and happy all in the same breath. Hard to explain. I got the pleasure of traveling with my son to Park City Utah for 4 days of lacrosse and down time. He is a social butterfly and I barely ever saw him (unless he was on the field)! He was out and about and I got a ton of time to spend all by myself. It was actually really nice. I cannot remember the last time I ate dinner...alone. Or went on a late night walk...alone. Or laid on the couch and channel surfed...alone. It was a peaceful, restful weekend. And full of some seriously tough lacrosse. I am not kidding... some of the boys they played (and some on his team) are HUGE! Like men with beards and super hairy legs.... not to mention they were like 6 feet plus! I sat on the sideline praying... Lord, please protect my baby from those big ole men. Zach truly held his own. He's one tough kid. Of course it didn't stop me from freaking out every time he got pounded. I'm such a wimp. And we got to spend the day at the Olympic training park ... athletes were training and I was totally in my element! Loved it.

I have been fascinated lately by the Sermon on the Mount; Jesus' call to righteousness. On a mountainside Jesus sat down to teach his disciples. Here is what He said;

God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

God blesses those who are humble, for they will inherit the whole earth.

God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied.

God blesses those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.

God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called children of God.

God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right, for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

I have read the beatitudes many, many times in my life. But there has never been a time when they have impacted me as much as they do now. God is impacting and changing my life drastically. It seems to happen more and more everyday. It's almost surreal.

A couple of months ago someone prayed a powerful prayer for me. I think about her prayer everyday. She held my hands in her hands and prayed for me to have hope. I sat with her hands over my hands and my tears running over her knuckles. It was a powerful prayer and a powerful moment. And as I look at the way my life is spinning into a new direction I am busting with just that, hope. It is simply humbling. As Jesus says; blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. I never quite understood what it meant to be broken, until I was. Being obedient to God is not always the easy thing to do. It can hurt, bad. But he also gives us hope. For I know the plans I have for you, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope (Jer 29:11).

This Sunday evening, a friend of mine is hosting a dinner at his restaurant in Cherry Creek for all of the people I love the most in this world. My friends have been such an incredible blessing to me. True friends. Every dime that is spent is being donated to the Africa mission trip. Every dime. I cannot even express my gratitude and joy for these special friends. All 50+ of them. My worlds are going to collide on this special evening and I am beyond excited! Friends from old and new all coming to support me on this journey of complete obedience to Gods will for my life. I cry every time I think about it. I am BLESSED! I am blessed. I AM blessed. Because He blesses me for being obedient.

God is on the verge of changing everything in my life.... (with the exception of my family)! I have been offered an opportunity that I believe is a direct calling and blessing from God. I am still trying to wrap my little brain around it. But when God closes a door, He opens a window. And this girl is gonna go for it!

See you Sunday friends!

Forgiveness... The 5 letter Word

2011-06-13T19:06:00.000-06:00

Let me first express my unfiltered joy and anticipation for what God is doing and going to do in my life! I knew something big was coming and it appears it is actually happening. The details are unfolding very slowly and deliberately in Gods own timing and blessing. But all of the things I have been feeling in my heart for a long time now are seemingly coming to fruition. God has been exceptionally good to me and I just want to share that with as many people as I can. He has equipped me with certain gifts and I am now going to get to use them directly to pursue His Kingdom. I am humbly, sweetly thankful. When the logistics are ironed out I will share the exciting details.

Forgiveness, the 5 letter word; Jesus.

One of the hallmarks of Christianity. The word “forgive” is a grace word in the English, as well as the Greek, meaning “to give or to grant.” The meaning is “to remit a debt, to give up resentment or claim for requital, or to pardon an offense.” For many of us this can be an extremely difficult or sometimes impossible process. But Jesus tells us "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. ( Matt. 6:12, 14-15)". If you withhold forgiveness you will not be forgiven. After all, not one of us is sinless or without cause for judgment.

A friend of mine makes a strong case here. I have learned so much from her. She is a steadfast Christian woman. She has not had an easy life by any means. She has had many struggles in her life. Not the least of which was the brutal murder of her young adult daughter. She was savagely attacked and killed. For no reason other than the deranged man didn't like the way she was combing her hair. So he attacked her and didn't stop. Imagine the hate that would stir in you? I'm not sure I would survive that. Let alone forgive the man. Or seek a relationship with him? And bring him to know Christ? But my friend did. And she is a true testament to love and forgiveness. Not fake, lip service forgiveness. But real heart felt forgiveness. The kind of forgiveness that makes Jesus smile.

What I have learned about forgiveness is that it is about YOU. It is not condoning an offense, but letting go the hold it has on you and giving it back to the Lord. I have also found that often the hardest part of forgiveness is forgiving yourself. When you screw up, it's easy to get stuck in the loop of pity. That is a nasty, nasty little loop. What would the world look like if we truly forgave those who trespassed against us? If we truly forgave ourselves for wrong decisions? If we truly understood the gift Christ gave us as He lay on the Cross with holes in His hands. Imagine your sin written on a piece of paper between His hand, the nail, and the wood of the cross. All of the lousy things you said, thoughtless things you did, self gratifying decisions you made... all nailed down on a single sheet of paper. That my friends IS the gift of grace and forgiveness. Jesus died so that we may have eternal life. He chose to take on our sins as His own so that we may have eternal life. He loves us THAT much! Withholding forgiveness is a slap in the face to the One who died with our sins nailed to His Hands.

Does this mean that bad people go unpunsihed? Absolutely not. Matthew 12:36-37 "I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” But as my friend so eloquently teaches, forgiveness is about YOU and Jesus. I recently read this; Every tear, every travail, every hurt, every disappointment, every pain, every loss, and every betrayal is all a part of this process of death that takes us from being an immature babe to a mature son or daughter of God. That is a powerful lesson to learn friends. But one that once learned will change you life.

Have a blessed week my sweet friends!

How Sweet SHE Is!

2011-06-11T14:56:00.000-06:00

James and I threw Taylor a surprise sweet 16 party this weekend. It was so much fun. We danced like kids (well, the kids plus James and I), ate yummy barbecue, reminisced with friends both old and new, and just loved on our baby girl. J and I spent the whole day together planning, prepping, and thinking about how we have been blessed in so many ways in this life. Our children are so grounded and loving. Taylor is sooooooo responsible and thoughtful. It was a night I will never forget!

The summer is already blowing by and there is much yet on the agenda! Trips coming up, some new ventures that are unfolding, camping, and mission training.... loads of fun. And, God is starting to bring back adoption to my mind. Or at least children in need. I had a dream the other night that I had another son. He was from Africa. I am not sure what that was all about, maybe my mind is preparing for the big trip in August. But it was a child of mine. As I think back, I actually had a similar dream about 6 months ago except I was on a beach surrounded by very young kids, again from another country. I am not by any means reading into this. God is in complete control in my life and I know that I am exactly where he wants me right now. As for the future... only He knows.

Because one cake is just not enough!

Friends since kindergarten

Bust a move

Our girls have been friends since kindy... love this sweet friend

Thanks for the car nana!

BFF's

Daddys little girl

Breakin' It Down

We DID IT!

Expansion Joints and Lacrosse Sticks

2011-06-06T21:37:00.000-06:00

I spent the entire weekend watching my son play lacrosse in a tournament. I have a new respect for my child after watching him get hit, checked, shoved, tripped, slashed, prodded, and challenged all weekend long, It was intense. I am so proud of my boy. He was the king of face offs and scored a goal! It was so much fun to watch... although, it was AFRICA hot out there... especially on Sunday. Oh man. I considered it good practice for the real Africa. And I wasn't the one playing a sport in it! His team ended up 3rd overall after some major competition. I kid you not, these boys are bigger than my husband. It's odd to think my son is now 4 inches taller than me! Yikes.

Have you ever had periods in your life where you learned life altering lessons? A friend of mine started a new blog after losing her son 8 months ago. She is also in the fitness industry. She says, "This blog explores our ability to pull together all the fragments of a grieving broken heart and use them to build expansion joints in place of broken pieces." Read her blog here. Expansion joints. Fragments. Broken pieces. Aren't we all full of these things in some respect? I read this on Sunday night after having spent a part of the day feeling not myself. My heart felt heavy. James and I went on our nightly walk and talked about it. He said as my mind becomes stronger in Christ the enemy is going to try to divert me from making positive gains. These thoughts of not feeling "good enough" to be doing this sort of work for God. Not "worthy" enough. What does He want with me anyway? Yes, even though I know this is Gods perfect timing, I am still me and my head still gets in front of me. I've got to think through, reason everything. Dang that's an awful trait. Some things cannot be reasoned with. Especially things that have significant meaning. We may never understand those things while on this earth. So the torment I can create for myself is at times ridiculous! Lots of prayer and meditating on Gods word.

I go into work today and a friend pops in my office with a check... a HUGE personal donation for Africa. Of course I immediately start crying, AGAIN, and she immediately knows. She is a dear friend. She encouraged me. She said to remember Phil 4: 8-13. I said I know... it's written on a sticky note on my computer. It's just one of those days. The kind where I have to work really, really hard to remain focused on my identity on Christ. Nothing else. Then I think of my son.. getting kicked around for 2 days straight on the lacrosse field. Or my friend who suffered the most unthinkable loss, with no warning. We all have places in our lives where we will be continually challenged and need God. Well, I need God always... in every circumstance. Good days are great! But bad days build trust, endurance, and character.

Jesus Calling; When things don't go as you would like, accept the situation immediately. If you indulge in feelings of regret, they can easily spill over the line into resentment. Remember that I am sovereign over your circumstances, and humble yourself under my mighty hand. Rejoice in what I am doing in your life, even though it is beyond your understanding.
I am the way, the Truth, and the Life. In Me you have everything you need, both for this life and for the life yet to come. Don't let the impact of the world shatter your thinking or draw you away from focusing on Me. The ultimate challenge is to keep fixing your eyes on Me, no matter what is going on around you. When I am central in your thinking, you are able to view circumstances from My perspective.

Did I REALLY say that?

2011-06-03T11:56:00.002-06:00

Let me first admit I am awful, awful, awful at geography! I mean downright dumb in this department. I went to Tri County Health to get my yellow fever and typhoid immunizations this week. The sweet lady taking my info asked where I was traveling to.. I said Africa... she said what country.. I looked at her in confusion... tilted my head ... Africa! She looked at me in astonishment (uh, blonde) and said that's a continent. What country? Now I'm feeling really dumb. Ghana? Is that a country (did I really just say that?)? She laughed out loud, yes. Note to self... look at a map before committing to a trip!

The nurse that was administering my injections was so lovely. I got to talk about my faith and how I am being obedient to Gods call for me to go on this amazing journey. I guess you could say I got to share my testimony for Africa! It was so cool. Praise God! We talked for about an hour. He said I made his day and he would not soon forget about me and my trip. He said it's nice to know there are people who are willing to live on the fringe of this world for God. Little does he know, he made my day too.

It is such a blessing to have a job I love! Being the manager of a gym has it's perks! Like taking an average day and turning it into a spontaneous boxing match! Yes, there were towels to be folded, emails to be answered, phone calls to be made, and schedules to be written .... But sometimes you've just gotta let loose!

I am finding Gods blessings all over the place. I'm still waking up frequently at 3:30am .... Now when it happens I just smile and say (sometimes out loud).. Ok God, what are we going to talk about now? I'm definitely a captive audience at 3:30am. It's now one of my favorite times of day. The details for Africa are simply falling in to place. A friend of mine is hosting a dinner at his restaurant, Seven 30 South in Cherry Creek, on June 26th with ALL proceeds going to support our efforts in Africa. A gourmet, 5 course meal for $35!! The outpouring of support is humbling and makes me cry.. I just love you all so much! If you would like to come email me! God is simply amazing. Amazing. I am so anticipating my future in Gods hands. I have no idea what He has in store for me but I am full to the brim with hope; Jeremiah 29:11.

Jesus Calling for June 3rd.... so fitting;

I want to be central in your entire being. When your focus is firmly on Me, My peace displaces fears and worries. They will encircle you, seeking entrance, so you must stay alert. Let trust and thankfulness stand guard, turning back fear before it can gain a foothold. There is no fear in my love, which shines on you continually. Sit quietly in My love-Light, while I bless you with radiant peace. Turn your whole being to trusting and loving Me.

Have a great weekend my sweet friends!

Bonfire and Clay Pots!

2011-05-30T15:13:00.001-06:00

What a weekend! I think my body was made for vitamin D! I love love love the sunshine! And hanging out with friends.. eating... chatting... bbq's... just plain fun! We took the kids to a Rockies game.. I got my annual allotment of ONE hot dog. Oh man was it good. Not a big baseball fan, but the people watching was terrific!

We have this tradition, at the end of every school year we make a bonfire in the backyard of all the school work, papers, tests... Pretty fun for the kids. I am often surprised at what papers I wasn't privy to see during the year BUT just so happen to see at the bonfire. Whatcha gonna do?! Kids will be kids. And what's not to like about a smore? Did you know they make chocolate marshmallows?

I woke up this morning at 6am and look who slept on the patio?!? Crazy girls! Oh, to be a teenager again. Pretty funny if you ask me! I'm waaaay too old to be sleeping on concrete.

James and I tried another new Church this weekend. It was pretty cool. I love how there can be so much diversity in Churches but yet be central IN Jesus. Warms my little heart. The message was so fascinating to me. First of all, the Pastor that spoke is a former Buddhist. He was brought to Christ while living in Afghanistan. Can you imagine? Living in a Muslim country and becoming a Christian? It was a fascinating story. I digress... He spoke about the clay pots. How we are all clay pots. I had heard this before but really took interest in his delivery. He was actually making a clay pot as he spoke. Gently, carefully, with purpose in his hands an actual pitcher out of a lump of clay. God forms us from the dust of the earth; Gen 2:7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. Without purpose we are all just a lump of clay. But God sees us otherwise. He sees what we can become in order to be useful for His purpose. Isaiah 64:8 And yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, and you are the potter. We all are formed by your hand. We all have a divine purpose. No one is purposeless. No one. The part of the story that really, really touched me. How is a piece of clay finished? It is put in the kiln. The fire. Blazing fire. It is in the fire where you are forever cemented in His will.

In Daniel 3, King Nebuchadnezzar had constructed this huge gold statue and ordered everyone to bow down and worship it. But there were 3 Jews that were in charge of the province of Babylon that refused to worship this gold idol; Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. So King Nebuchadnezzar ordered them to be put to death in "the fire". Literally. The King was so enraged he ordered the furnace to be 7 times hotter than normal and the men should be bound together, and the King put them in the furnace to be destroyed. But these men trusted their God would not forsake them; O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” As the King watched the men in the furnace he noticed something that forever changed him. There were 4 men in the furnace, walking around, untied, untouched by the flames... Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, and the 4th who looks like God, the King proclaimed. The King ordered the men to come out of the burning furnace; Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here! It was at the moment that King Nebuchadnezzar realized the men had not been touched by even a single flame. Not even the smell of smoke on their clothing. God was with them. Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise to the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego! He sent his angel to rescue his servants who trusted in him. They defied the king’s command and were willing to die rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. Therefore, I make this decree: If any people, whatever their race or nation or language, speak a word against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, they will be torn limb from limb, and their houses will be turned into heaps of rubble. There is no other god who can rescue like this!”

We are all clay pots, cracked and imperfect. Consider it a blessing when you are in the fire in your life. This is where God does His work on you, and me. He can be completely trusted to get you through anything. He is good, always.

Have a blessed week friends!

Shot Up!

2011-05-27T08:51:00.000-06:00

Do you pray for specific things? I definitely do. Not that I am directing God by ANY means! But I ask Him to show Himself to me. James and I were praying before we slept for the night and during that I asked God to shake the ground under my feet tomorrow with His almighty presence. Just boldly reveal Himself to me. Maybe the ground won't physically shake, BUT to shake me so I knew he was all over my day. So, I go to work,. Work work work. I love my job. Day is going status quo. Then... it happens. I got an email from CCPC with a funds update for Ghana. This email was out of the blue as I had already been updated on Monday with no new news. No new funds. No big deal... So I was caught off guard that another update was coming as they were only supposed to be every two weeks. So I scrolled down and about fell over. Major, major, major contributions had been made and I started balling. Just balling. I think I felt the ground shake for sure! God has once again heard my plea and He spoke right to me. I just cried and cried. Thanking Him for everything. Everything. My day went from status quo to the best day I have had in months! I am going to Africa! Can you hardly believe it?!?! I called my friends... balling... in complete thanksgiving. I love God so much. I am humbled that He wants to use me..little ole me... in this incredible way. I simply cannot express the way I feel. The provisions He provides and the generosity of others is beyond my comprehension.

I just so happened to also have my first Doctors appointment that day for immunizations. My doc was so nice. He thinks it is so awesome that I am going to Africa to share Gods love. And did I tell you I get to teach an exercise class to 300-500 women? It's so awesome I can't even explain! Doc also loaded me up with lots of drugs for the flight. he laughed and said don't you worry.. lets let the pharmaceutical companies get you thru! I will either be asleep or in lala land and that is ok by me! Then the needles came out... 2 in each arm. I could barely brush my teeth this morning! It's taken my 30 minutes to type this blog entry! My arms are killing me! But it is worth it! And I got 4 really cool band aids!

2 John 6 ; And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.

As a side note... I did an interview with the Denver Post last week on our awesome gym; check it out here!

Peaches!

2011-05-25T14:39:00.000-06:00

My son said the funniest thing to me this week. He gave me a hug on his way out the door to school and held me tight... and said, "you smell like peaches mommy. I love peaches!" It just melted my heart. Big time. My baby, who is growing by leaps and bounds before my eyes, just loves his momma. And peaches? It's about the only instance I don't mind being referred to as a fruit! And my other baby is turning 16 in June. She is officially a Junior in HS. I don't know how or when they grew up, but they are. And honestly, it makes me a bit sad. A bit sad indeed. I remember them small and clinging to my every movement. Now I'm just a fruit!

Accepting change is hard. I like the comfortable and predictable. Going into this new time in my life is scary and exciting at the same time. With the massive amount of change that has been occurring in our lives it's hard to not turn around and look back. But I think about Lots wife when she looked at the cities being destroyed, she longed for her old life there. Her body had moved out of Sodom, but her heart was still back there. And she turned to salt. An angel had told them “look not behind thee … lest thou be consumed” (Genesis 19:17). Lot's wife simply ignored the warning and received the penalty the angel had warned her about. She was then “consumed”. So I will take the lesson and obey Gods press for me to keep moving forward and not look back. After all, I've got Africa on the horizon! I was talking to a girlfriend and she was so funny. She said when she asks God to move her in His direction she gets moved to work in her Church. I asked... I got moved to Africa! What's up with that?!? It was pretty funny. I just don't know what God is going to do here, but I am not looking back, just forward. I got my plane ticket this week. Of course I immediately looked at the flight time and seat configuration. Oh my word! Denver to JFK, JFK direct to Accra, Ghana. That's a total of about 15 hours. I've said it before and I will say it again, this is simply not possible without God. Reference above statement; I like the comfortable and predictable. This is clearly none of the above. But it is Gods work. And I have learned very, very, very well over the past months that when you obey God, He blesses you ten fold. As hard as it may be to do what He is asking, there is no other way.

I was on the phone last night with a friend who is sad. When you are tight in a community of people and one person changes\leaves the dynamic, it effects the entire group. Again. missing the way things used to be. We talked about Lots wife. We read passages together. She was crying, I was getting teared up. We both joked that the weather sure wasn't helping! Darn the rain! Before we got off the phone I prayed for us. For so many things. And at the end I asked God to just let the sun peek through tomorrow as a reminder of His promise to us. And friends... as I look outside I see the sun is now out in full force! And the forecast was calling for more rain and gloom! So there you have it... He loves us, He hears us, He wants to be our everything. Isn't that peachy?? Sorry, had to throw that in there!

The Foolish Plans of God...

2011-05-22T19:51:00.000-06:00

1 Cor 1:25 This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and Gods weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength.

Isn't that the coolest scripture. I just love it. My foolish plans. My foolish ways. My perceived strengths don't even hit the same atmosphere as Gods weaknesses (does God have weaknesses... I would say no). I think Paul was simply trying to demonstrate Gods immeasurable strength on a scale that we can only try imagine.

As I prepare... ok. lets just stop right here for a sec! Prepare? Uh, how does one prepare for Africa? Especially this one, Mrs. I hate to fly! There is only one way... prayer and petition for strength and provision. This is sosooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo crazy! I still cannot believe I am going to Africa! But when I refer back to 1 Cor 1:25, I just sit back and pause with great expectation. I know that this is going to be the most life changing experience of my entire life. And friends, I've had my share of life changing events! I am so anxious to see how God leads me through this process. Because there is absolutely nothing about this that I have the ability to do..... alone. Nothing. My preparation will consist of prayer and petition, and thanks for His hand prints on me.

James and I celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary this weekend. I cannot believe it's been 17 years and 22 together! Crazy. We talked a lot about how even after this many years we still have room for growth and maturity in our life together. How humbling it is that the person that knows you the most in all the world can love you anyway. I mean, really! Lucky you if you are in the lifes peachy 27/7 category. We certainly are not of that caliber. But we are of the grace category; grace, mercy, and lots and lots of love. He gave me 16 white roses, and one red. He says the red was for his renewed love for me this year. How sweet is that! Man I love this guy.

Something I really, really, really want to work on this summer with my kids is having a servants heart. For all of us really. Serving has really helped me renew my faith. And I want my kids to have the same experience. I sat down with Zach this afternoon and talked to him about this very subject. How does one make a 13 year old boy understand?? Well.... the lawnmower of course! One of our neighbors recently lost her husband unexpectedly and another was recently diagnosed with Parkinsons. So Zach and I went the their doors and Zach offered to mow their lawns. I made sure Zach told them he was offering only as a volunteer and was not seeking payment. They were hesitant, but relented, and Zach served his neighbors. He was so good about it. When really all he wanted to do was watch the DU lacrosse game in tv!

James 2:17 Faith by faith itself isn't enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.

Have a great week my sweet friends!

My Letter

2011-05-19T13:42:00.000-06:00

This is the letter I have sent to my friends and family;

Dear Family and Friends,

It amazes me that I am even writing this letter. But God is doing something in me that I simply cannot explain.

A friend of mine approached me in mid April about a mission trip she was taking to Ghana, Africa. She remarked at the time that I should consider taking the trip with them! I got a good laugh out of it and said thank you but no. At the time I was dealing with some personal issues in my faith and was too busy dealing with my life to even consider it. A week goes by and she is not relenting with her offer. Another week goes by and I begin to let the thought creep into my consciences. I began to ask God about it. Then it turned into many daily conversations with Him about Africa. I began to pray for specific things and am blown away at what I got! Someone once told me don’t ask God to use you in a bold way IF you are not ready for His response. And ready I wasn’t. Within 4 days of serious prayer and consideration, I had a volunteer fundraising team, an employer who said go for it, a husband who said this is the one, and a God that said “Daughter, this is what I’ve been preparing you for.” God has a firm grip on me right now and I am ready to take the biggest leap of faith of my life.

I will be traveling with 10 women, 9 of which I have never met, from Cherry Creek Presbyterian Church (CCPC) where Zach just so happened to go to pre-school for 3 years. This is CCPC’s 4th year traveling to Accra, Ghana to partner with HODEM; Hour of Deliverance Evangelical Ministry. We will be serving 300 women in the way of; providing bibles, educating them on health/wellness initiatives, administering de-wormer shots, and assisting the lead Pastor in “The Power of the Holy Spirit in Everyday Life” discussion. Most of all we will be sharing the love of our great and powerful God and being the hands and feet of Jesus.

I am asking first for your prayers; for safety, health, and guidance for this big adventure. Also, prayer for all of the necessary pieces to fall into place over the next 3 months prior to our departure.

I am also asking that you would prayerfully consider supporting me financially with a tax deductible donation. I am raising money to cover my trip expenses as well as money to provide a roof for the girls dormitory that is on the HODEM campus. This dormitory has been in progress for 8 long years and is simply waiting for God to provide the last piece… a roof. If you would like to contribute, please fill out the form in the envelope and send your check to CCPC.
I am deeply humbled to be serving the Lord in this capacity. I am fully, completely relying on Him to provide everything necessary for this trip. Thank you for your prayer and support.

In His Service,

Noell

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight

If God places it in your heart to contribute, please email me at noellblevins@gmail.com and I will send you a donation form. Many blessings to all of you!

Prophesy

2011-05-18T11:48:00.000-06:00

We all have angels. Some come in the form of people while others are around us always (I believe anyway). My little angels have been in overdrive working their little angel tushes off. Nothing speaks to me more than people who are generous and giving. I came to work on Monday and there was the sweetest card from a woman from the gym. With a donation for the Africa mission. She wrote the most lovely note. Angel for sure. She had no idea how much her kind words meant to me... just when you need them, they show up! Thank you God. Then today my most dear friend popped in to see me at work with flowers. Angel for sure. God knows how much I love that girl. It's silly. Thanks my dear friend.

Every time we open our mouths or give into our thoughts, we are prophesying our future. And the angels that are assigned to us either stand up or sleep quietly at our feet. When we stay in self pity and continually allow ourselves to be disappointed and angry, our angels cannot, I repeat CANNOT do their work. Only when we speak Gods word and truth over our lives can the angels stand up, lock arms around you, and get to work protecting you. The Holy Spirit is released at those times and God is allowed to do work in your life. Now, I know many of you read this and think I am nuts. Oh that Noell, she's just flipped a gasket these days! However, I can assure you I am not. I have experienced this first hand. When you feel down, defeated, sad, overwhelmed... it is soooooooooooooo easy to fall into the woe is me trap. And the enemy just loves you in that place. But, when you reject those things and counter them with prophesy that you are loved, you are righteous, you are His, you are free.... your angels stand and say alright... now we can get to work! And that is where I will stay. People in this world will believe, think, feel anyway they choose about you in this life. Some will fail you, some will lift you up. And there is nothing you can do about it. But I (you) can do all things through Christ who strengthens Me (phil 4:13). It's like the old adage you are what you eat (you know I had to slip that one in there...sorry hazard of the job)... you are what you say you are; greatly blessed, highly favored, deeply loved.

On an Africa note, I had my first meeting with my Africa mission partners last night. Do you ever go into a situation that is foreign and immediately feel at peace? That's exactly how I felt. Again, I am traveling with women I have (had) never met. And I suppose that is a pretty scary thought. But I just feel such a peace about it. Our group is diverse in our abilities, talents, walk, and age. I LOVE that there is so much I can learn here. That some of these women have walked a long path in life and have paved the way for me, for us. I relish that I get to work beside them, learning from their maturity in Christ, and seeing God work in ALL of our lives. I am humbled and blessed beyond measure. And to top it all off??? My 17th wedding anniversary is Saturday and I get to spend it with the most God filled man I know.

Happy Wednesday friends!

Hijacking

2011-05-13T21:56:00.001-06:00

I am so happy for my friend that I am hijacking his post here.... About 4 months ago his circumstances with his family and wife hit me sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard. I cried with him...in my coffee every morning as I read his gut wrenching updates. Then my wedding ring disappearing... read here for that amazing story. I won't completely hijack his story.... but Joanne came home today! Praise God, Praise God, Praise God. God is good, always. I am crying once again, but because I am so happy for this family.

I have been praying lately for opportunity... to speak Gods word, to share his love, to encourage others. This morning before work on my hands and knees. The day was crazy long. One of those where the to do list was longer than my attention span. I came home from work and thought...darn, never got the opportunity. At about 6pm I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. Sent it to vm... listened to it.... and lone behold, it was someone from work who was wanting me to pray for her. I am not kidding. I immediately called her back and we chatted for an hour. She said she knew I would pray for her so she trusted me to help her. I was honored. And I shared with her that I had prayed for this exact moment this morning and thanked her for being a part of my answered prayer. So cool. Praise God again!

It is so humbling for me to be able to encourage others in their faith ... sometimes encouraging them to have faith at all! I am sooooooo not a perfect person. And sometimes I think the facade of Christianity is that we are some elite group of people who do no wrong. And while I know there are some that have that mentality; it certainly is not the case as a whole. That's the beauty of Grace. God wants us to approach Him in a "child like" posture. Humble, not proud. I'm sure there is a long theological version of how to pray written somewhere (many places actually)... but I'm just a woman on my own journey. And I know I have refuge in Gods presence. One of my favorite verses is Exodus 14:14, The Lord Himself will fight for you, just stay calm. I was able to share that many times this week (and last). No matter what people think of you, or what they choose to believe, The Lord Himself will fight for you, and me. There is an enormous amount of peace in understanding that. And that's enough for me. By the way... if you have not read Exodus..... READ IT! It is one of my favorite books.

Oh, and guess what?!?!?! We purchased our plane tickets for Africa today! I am so excited to see God at work through this process. There is absolutely nothing about this mission trip that I can do without Him. I mean really.... from the flight to the million other details, it's all God.

Have a great weekend friends!

Pros and Cons

2011-05-08T20:57:00.000-06:00

It's Mothers day night and everyone is all tuckered out from our busy day! We went to our new Church and the service was great! While there last week we bumped into a dear friend of mine all the way back from middle school who is a member there with her family... it's nice to see a familiar face for sure. Makes the transition a bit more palatable. During the message this morning, the pastor brought up Africa! I almost fell over (impossible, I was seated).... Taylor looked at me with bug eyes! Yes Lord, I was paying attention! It was perfect. After service we headed down to Wash Park (our Mothers Day tradition) for hot dogs and football! I'm not a brunch kind of gal. I almost took some poor guys teeth out with a frisbee... felt pretty bad but his girlfriend thought it was hilarious! We are full bellied, content, and sunburned! Love those little buggers (well, they're all three taller than me so little may not be the best adjective).

Pre-Church

Wash Park Sun time!

Dude running in a skirt! Weird.

I am so overwhelmed by God right now. He is doing something that I simply cannot put into words. I know how Moses must have felt; why me Lord? I couldn't possible do THAT! I'm just a simple woman from Parker! That is scared to fly! And Ghana isn't exactly next door!

I'm very much a type A, make a list, pros and cons kind of person. So check out my list for Africa;

Cons

fear of flying
I have NEVER met the 9 women I will travel with... total strangers
It's not my home Church
I've never left the continent
I'm scared of bugs... especially big ones
I have a full time job that requires a lot of my attention
I don't have $3500 lying around
I don't do well with "unknowns"... really need information
I'm a control freak (recovering)
humidity makes me cranky
did I mention I'm slightly claustrophobic in airplanes????
my back is still really angry... had facet injections last week to try to minimize discomfort.. sitting for 15 hours in a plane??? Ugh.
I don't like being away from my husband for that long
I only like to eat certain foods... sounds picky huh?
I don't do things toooooo far out of my comfort zone

Pros

I love God
I Love Jesus
Because He asked me to
Because I trust He is doing something important in me
Because I need to know just how powerful He really is, right now
Because I need to understand His purpose for me

What more is there to say?

We will be assisting the HODEM (Hour of Deliverance Evangelical Ministry) women's conference in Accra, Ghana. Upwards up 300 women will travel to the Church from "the bush". The theme of the conference is "How to Hear God in your Everyday Life". One of my roles will be to teach the women how to take care of their backs...yes their backs. They have deep sways in their lumbar spine because that is where they carry their children. And so they end up with back pain very young. I will teach them stretches and exercises. How cool is that! We will also be talking about very, very, very difficult subjects relating their "personal space". We will be administering anti-worm shots and hand delivering hundreds of bibles to the women and children. Can you hardly believe it?!?!?! I am floored! And most importantly, we are looking to connect with the women. To create a bond that is heavenly bound. And if God has gifted me anything in particular, it's the ability to connect to others, I LOVE IT! I LOVE LOVE LOVE to LOVE other people. I am so excited.

I am mailing in my documents this week and starting my vaccinations! The plane tickets are being purchased this week too. I'm terrified but excited to see what God is going to do in me, through me, and with me.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight

Whats on YOUR Boom Box?

2011-05-06T14:37:00.000-06:00

Remember in the 80's how carrying a boom box around on your shoulder while blaring some ridiculous rap song was "the thing" to do? I totally remember it...

No, that is not James! Yes, we were dating in the 80's but his hair was never that long! And what is the deal with that belt?? Anyway, I digress.... There is a song by Christy Nockels that totally blows my socks off! I replay it 100 times a day. If I had a boom box, I can assure you it would be blaring 24/7. I absolutely love it!

Do you ever look around at your day/week/month and see where God spoke to you? Whether it was through other people, directly at you, through scripture, or a hundred other ways. Well, I sure have. And this week was a blessing from beginning to end. I am surrounded by the most incredible people, both at home and work, and I am beyond grateful. Someone recently told me to consider it a blessing when Gods burns your house down... because he has a better one in store for you! The old one had to go. And it is so true. I never, ever, ever, ever in a million years would have thought I would go to Africa to be the hands and feet of Christ... But I'm going. And I wouldn't have it any other way! Even if I have to take 5 Valium to get there!

What's on YOUR boom box?